Compass turd

A compass turd is created when a person Eats two consecutive high fiber meals. The first meal is exceptionally high in protein, and the second laden with fats. The eater then passes both meals in the same defecation. The high fiber content in the compass turd will hold a sturdy log, and the dense protein packed end sinks to the bottom of toilet bowl while the buoyant, fatty pole will float to the surface, leaving the compass turd pointing straight up and down.
The scout master taught the intrepid scouts how to lay a compass turd, along with many tricks and techniques of orientation in wilderness. The scouts who could birth the best fecal compass were granted an ornate and venerable badge denoting their glorious ever-skyward turd
by fullyregressed January 16, 2014
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Orphan Turd

A turd that is left behind after you flush the toilet.
Paul glanced back at the toilet to find a stubborn orphan turd still circling the bowl.
by Largetarget April 19, 2018
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lava turds

Liquid shit that is so hot it oozes out of your ass like lava.
After eating the cheese rolls from Taco Bell, MArk had to drop off some serious lava turds.
by snarky1 May 24, 2009
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Mouth Turd

When an intoxicated individual consumes too much food, and then begins to secrete a turd-like substance out the mouth, resulting in a turd shaped vomit. It is often found leaving serious skid marks
It was Chris' mouth turd. Looks like an orange shit.
by bighorse123 February 06, 2011
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Turd raft

When you lay down a few sheets of toilet paper on the water surface before taking a dump, preventing water from splashing on your ass when the turd drops.
This toilet looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages! I better set up a turd raft to protect by delicate bottom from the AIDS.
by mythirdeye006 April 25, 2011
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Sonic Turd

(Adjective) A piece of music, song or album of such low quality that one's ear-drums have an experience similar to being shit upon, leading to the listener feeling violated, disappointed or filthy for having even been subjected to it.
Coldplay's new album 'Ghost Stories' is a sonic turd of awful proportions.
by Word Smith McGee May 23, 2014
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Turd Smoker

A smoker of turds, and such; a person who enjoys the taste of rolled feces.
Man, that JJSINC is a real turd smoker.
by thefunkyfeelone August 22, 2018
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