Speed Turd

A small speed bump that you don't have to slow down for.

Driver: Speeding, going 55 in a 25.

Passenger: yells slow down, watch out for that speed bump!

Driver: hits it going full speed then says"Oh thats just a speed turd"

by CJ Stuntin March 30, 2010

turd hearse

A manure spreader; device commonly used by farmers to spread livestock feces on their fields to use as fertilizer.

"Dad's out in the field, pulling the turd hearse behind his tractor. He cleaned the hog house today."

by oldgeezer March 6, 2010

Turd raft

When you lay down a few sheets of toilet paper on the water surface before taking a dump, preventing water from splashing on your ass when the turd drops.

This toilet looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages! I better set up a turd raft to protect by delicate bottom from the AIDS.

by mythirdeye006 May 16, 2011

turd shark

A sexual act where many men and women, sometimes on special occasions even children take shits in a public pool and someone eats as much defication as they can

Clifford: hey Patricia want to get your family together so we can play turd shark?!

Patricia: yeah sounds like fun!

Clifford mmm this shit sure is tasty

Patricias mom Sandy: hey come over here little turd shark I sharted a little bit i here turd shark can smell a shart from miles away

Clifford: oh don't worry Sandy I'll suck that log right out of your fine milf ass!

by Oscar the plug September 5, 2017

lava turds

Liquid shit that is so hot it oozes out of your ass like lava.

After eating the cheese rolls from Taco Bell, MArk had to drop off some serious lava turds.

by snarky1 May 24, 2009

Houdini Turd

When your sitting on the toilet for atleast 20 minutes and it feels as if the biggest turd has came out of your rectum; when you get up to wipe there's nothing in the bowl.

After twenty minutes of sitting on the crapper Johnny got up to whip and comes to find nothing there but a Houdini Turd.

by Lueckmans November 8, 2009

turd testicle

When you take a shit and it doesn't come all the way out so it just dangles like a testicle.

Bro 1: Damn, I just took the worst shit of my life yesterday!

Bro 2: Was it a turd testicle?

Bro 1: Yeee maan...

by jenny56868 August 13, 2011