turd squeezer

An alternative way of saying asshole. Typically this term is used to describe an individual who may very well be an asshole, but at the same time they are not worthy of your top shelf profanity.

Brian is just a useless turd squeezer. Not an asshole, because asshole would insinuate that , while having a shitty attitude, he actually tries to be a productive member of society.

by 23rd Chromosome April 6, 2016

turd shark

A sexual act where many men and women, sometimes on special occasions even children take shits in a public pool and someone eats as much defication as they can

Clifford: hey Patricia want to get your family together so we can play turd shark?!

Patricia: yeah sounds like fun!

Clifford mmm this shit sure is tasty

Patricias mom Sandy: hey come over here little turd shark I sharted a little bit i here turd shark can smell a shart from miles away

Clifford: oh don't worry Sandy I'll suck that log right out of your fine milf ass!

by Oscar the plug September 5, 2017

shiny turd

When taking someone rough around the edges and making them look and act better, but still has a hint of stank.

Boy oh boy, look at Ryan now. From where he was last year to now? That's one shiny turd!

by Mackb4 March 12, 2017

Turd raft

When you lay down a few sheets of toilet paper on the water surface before taking a dump, preventing water from splashing on your ass when the turd drops.

This toilet looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages! I better set up a turd raft to protect by delicate bottom from the AIDS.

by mythirdeye006 May 16, 2011

turd testicle

When you take a shit and it doesn't come all the way out so it just dangles like a testicle.

Bro 1: Damn, I just took the worst shit of my life yesterday!

Bro 2: Was it a turd testicle?

Bro 1: Yeee maan...

by jenny56868 August 13, 2011

Houdini Turd

When your sitting on the toilet for atleast 20 minutes and it feels as if the biggest turd has came out of your rectum; when you get up to wipe there's nothing in the bowl.

After twenty minutes of sitting on the crapper Johnny got up to whip and comes to find nothing there but a Houdini Turd.

by Lueckmans November 8, 2009

lava turds

Liquid shit that is so hot it oozes out of your ass like lava.

After eating the cheese rolls from Taco Bell, MArk had to drop off some serious lava turds.

by snarky1 May 24, 2009