When you lay down a few sheets of toilet paper on the water surface before taking a dump, preventing water from splashing on your ass when the turd drops.
This toilet looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages! I better set up a turd raft to protect by delicate bottom from the AIDS.
by mythirdeye006 April 25, 2011
(Adjective) A piece of music, song or album of such low quality that one's ear-drums have an experience similar to being shit upon, leading to the listener feeling violated, disappointed or filthy for having even been subjected to it.
by Word Smith McGee May 23, 2014
A compass turd is created when a person Eats two consecutive high fiber meals. The first meal is exceptionally high in protein, and the second laden with fats. The eater then passes both meals in the same defecation. The high fiber content in the compass turd will hold a sturdy log, and the dense protein packed end sinks to the bottom of toilet bowl while the buoyant, fatty pole will float to the surface, leaving the compass turd pointing straight up and down.
The scout master taught the intrepid scouts how to lay a compass turd, along with many tricks and techniques of orientation in wilderness. The scouts who could birth the best fecal compass were granted an ornate and venerable badge denoting their glorious ever-skyward turd
by fullyregressed January 16, 2014
When taking someone rough around the edges and making them look and act better, but still has a hint of stank.
by Mackb4 March 13, 2017
When an intoxicated individual consumes too much food, and then begins to secrete a turd-like substance out the mouth, resulting in a turd shaped vomit. It is often found leaving serious skid marks
by bighorse123 February 06, 2011
The little pieces of black rubber found in the astro turf on a marching field (aka football field). They get everywhere, and once there, they're impossible to fully get rid of... They're annoying, but they are a way of life. For the truly dedicated band student, finding a turf turd often triggers an episode of Marching Band Withdrawl.
It's been six months since the last time I was on a marching field, and I'm still finding turf turds in my shoes! Dang, I miss marching season...
by A Sharp Major July 07, 2020
A manure spreader; device commonly used by farmers to spread livestock feces on their fields to use as fertilizer.
"Dad's out in the field, pulling the turd hearse behind his tractor. He cleaned the hog house today."
by oldgeezer March 06, 2010