Turd raft

When you lay down a few sheets of toilet paper on the water surface before taking a dump, preventing water from splashing on your ass when the turd drops.

This toilet looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages! I better set up a turd raft to protect by delicate bottom from the AIDS.

by mythirdeye006 May 16, 2011

turd mentality

the mental state of someone who cannot articulate the difference between herd immunity and herd mentality

President Trump displayed another shining moment of turd mentality when speaking about COVID this week.

by Slamb Doctor September 16, 2020

Speed Turd

A small speed bump that you don't have to slow down for.

Driver: Speeding, going 55 in a 25.

Passenger: yells slow down, watch out for that speed bump!

Driver: hits it going full speed then says"Oh thats just a speed turd"

by CJ Stuntin March 30, 2010

Turd Smoker

A smoker of turds, and such; a person who enjoys the taste of rolled feces.

Man, that JJSINC is a real turd smoker.

by thefunkyfeelone August 22, 2018

turd swirl

The tasty looking chocolate colored drawing crap makes as it takes it's playful last swim through the toilet bowl.

What's up with the turd swirl dude? Don't they have bowl brushes in Canada?

by Webster the great May 8, 2009

turd shark

A sexual act where many men and women, sometimes on special occasions even children take shits in a public pool and someone eats as much defication as they can

Clifford: hey Patricia want to get your family together so we can play turd shark?!

Patricia: yeah sounds like fun!

Clifford mmm this shit sure is tasty

Patricias mom Sandy: hey come over here little turd shark I sharted a little bit i here turd shark can smell a shart from miles away

Clifford: oh don't worry Sandy I'll suck that log right out of your fine milf ass!

by Oscar the plug September 5, 2017

shiny turd

When taking someone rough around the edges and making them look and act better, but still has a hint of stank.

Boy oh boy, look at Ryan now. From where he was last year to now? That's one shiny turd!

by Mackb4 March 12, 2017