Part 4 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. We left off with the Jonas Brothers in our list of amazing famous people from NJ. We continue withDavid Copperfield, Donald Fagen, Jesse Eisenberg, Jim Miller, Dennis Rodman, Antonin Scallia, Amy Locane, E.J. Barthel, Vini Lopez, Bill Moyers, Anthony Stolarz, Allen Ginsburg, Gaetano Bresci, Larry Doby, Malcolm Forbes, Bruce Vilanch, THE HAPPY FITS (my second-favorite band), Katherine Renee Shindle, Lauren Schmetterling, Julie Anne Robbenhymer, Jessie Paege, Mark Blum, Cissy Houston, Gary Lewis, THE LIST. GOES. FUCKING. ON. We know what REAL pizza is, what a REAL bagel is, what a REAL TOMATO is. No, California doesn't have good tomatoes. Californian tomatoes are FUCKING BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S TOMATOES ARE BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S BAGELS.. THEY'RE FUCKING BULLSHIT. YOUR PIZZA?! I'll spell it out. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Except for our next door neighbor New York, you have good pizza. We'll give you that. Go to my profile for part 5 i promise it's up these were all posted in the same like 10 mins.
by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022
Get the New Jersey - Part 4 mug.Here's Part 5 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. Go to my profile for previous. And you know what we made? CAMPBELLS'. FUCKING. SOUP. CAMPBELLS IS ARGUABLY THE BEST SOUP COMPANY IN THE ENTIRE NATION AND YOU KNOW THAT. We also have Wawas but I'm not sure if they're actually FROM NJ they might be a Pennsylvania or Connecticut thing. I'll go look it up. Yeah they're from PA but still we have a lot of wawas while you californians don't. And yes, we're the most dense. We're also in the top half of populous states (I think). If you live here you can go out to New York with your friends for your occasional good time. (However, the traffic on the turnpike can get big. Also always remember to take the HOLLAND tunnel. Lincoln tunnel sucks and it's irrelevant.) Despite having to pay a ridiculous toll fee, it's worth it. We've got one of the most dense cities in the US (Jersey City). Go to my profile for the last part part 6 it's up because i posted them all in the same 10 mins (i wrote the entire essay at once but then realized i couldn't post it so broke it up into parts after)
by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022
Get the New Jersey - Part 5 mug.Last part, part 6 of how amazing NJ is which I can't put all in 1 part because of the character limit.I feel like you're about to say "Oh this guy talks so much about jersey" Yes. I talk about Jersey. I FUCKING LOVE JERSEY. IT'S MY STATE. Our state motto would be "Unwarranted Confidence, Unlimited Attitude." WE LOVE OUR STATE. WE ARE PROUD LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS AND WE WILL STAY LIKE THAT. Also yes we have very amazing school system, better than something like Alabama's or Idaho's, we keep our state not smelly (granted, part of the GS parkway can get smelly but that space takes up like 5% of the state, which is not much.) Also yes Toyota is pretty much the only car you see. We have a very high Asian Population (That includes countries that aren't china btw) and we probably have at least 90% of all the emo kids in the country.
I have a lot more to say about our amazing state but I'm getting tired of typing and I've spent like almost an hour on this shit, so bye bitches i might make a continuation with parts 7-12 sometime if I get really bored but don't expect me to.
I have a lot more to say about our amazing state but I'm getting tired of typing and I've spent like almost an hour on this shit, so bye bitches i might make a continuation with parts 7-12 sometime if I get really bored but don't expect me to.
by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022
Get the New Jersey - Part 6 mug.The most disgusting place in America.
Literally the armpit of this great nation; if the nation had heinous curry fueled armpit B.O. If you role down your window as you pass by the “Welcome to New Jersey” sign, you are smacked in the face with a putrid smell of New York’s garbage that Jersey removes for them. The worst drivers in the country; they drive like maniacs… probably because they are trying to escape the trash-boat state they were unfortunate enough to be born into.
Literally the armpit of this great nation; if the nation had heinous curry fueled armpit B.O. If you role down your window as you pass by the “Welcome to New Jersey” sign, you are smacked in the face with a putrid smell of New York’s garbage that Jersey removes for them. The worst drivers in the country; they drive like maniacs… probably because they are trying to escape the trash-boat state they were unfortunate enough to be born into.
Dan: “Hey Steve roll down the window I wanna smell that fresh New Jersey air”
Steve: “If you roll that window down I will fucking strike you in the liver… New Jersey smells like your Aunt Claudia’s vagine, Dan… worst state in the Union”
Steve: “If you roll that window down I will fucking strike you in the liver… New Jersey smells like your Aunt Claudia’s vagine, Dan… worst state in the Union”
by Bdflyfish May 9, 2022
Get the New Jersey mug.First, a man performs anal sex on his partner. After finishing, he must remain in his partner's anus until he is able to urinate. He then urinates into the anal cavity. He then pulls out while his partner clenches the anus, containing the "goodness". The man puts his face in front of his partners anus while his partner expels the contents inside of the anal cavity all over the face of the man.
by Tango47 September 29, 2022
Get the New Jersey Volcano mug.when you are wearing skinny jeans and chuck taylor high tops during foreplay and they get tangled up when you try to take them off before sex
things were getting steamy with this girl and i got caught in a new jersey death trap and fell over breaming her tv ruining the mood
by ash catsup March 31, 2022
Get the new jersey death trap mug.A state that has managed a reputation of being bad-but really isn't. It has beautiful scenery in southern and north-western parts. It's more than the smoke stacks and utilitarian New Jersey, New Yorkers see across the Hudson.
by Happy facer boi March 13, 2022
Get the New Jersey mug.