walmart jesus

also called low-bar jesus

noun / the phenomenon of men being praised for the smallest accomplishments. men doing the bare minimum and being worshipped as great men (doing something that women do and DO NOT receive praise for because its seen as their innate responsibility).

"he always changes the baby, hes the best father."
"that's just walmart jesus. the bar is subterranean"

by georgia011 June 9, 2022

Walmart Creature

Some one more sophisticated than a hobo, but less than white trash. They are usually poor, but never realize when they are close to being extremely rich. They might not be good at reading in general, or be educated past middle school. Charlie Kelly and Frank Reynolds, from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, for example, are Walmart Creatures

person1: Ew, look a Walmart Creature.
person2: I bet he could sell that and make millions, if it wasn't covered in drawings of penises.
person1: yeah. Why do we still go to this place?

by makeasequeltoDannyPhantom November 1, 2018

walmart vest

a homoerotic wardrobe staple of Walmart employees. typically accessorized with pins and patches to give shoppers a false sense of approachability. sometimes the back is bedazzled to say “daddy’s little slutbag” in rhinestones, but not always.

person 1: “man, did you see ailee’s walmart vest?”
person 2: “yeah, it’s so y2k thrift store chic!”

by streborarella June 16, 2022

Basil's Walmart

When a keyboard warrior condescendingly suggests that participating in democracy is lazy or näive, and that the real way to enact meaningful change in the world is to commit some act of righteous political violence, and then goes on to do no such terroristic act, opting instead to continue to participate in more internet flame wars. Used by edgy teens and armchair anarchists to prove how cool and woke they are.

Pioneered by Twitter user @LinkofSunshine (Display name "Basil")

Natalie keeps saying that "Voting for any candidate is submitting to a broken system" and "What we need is revolution!", but she's just window shopping at Basil's Walmart.

by WarWeasel August 29, 2024

Walmart Song

The type of song that would be in an average Walmart commercial.

Do you actually like Thunder by Imagine Dragons? That fucking Walmart Song?

by Gregory Egg October 24, 2023

Walmart skateboard

The worst fucking skateboards ever.

Guy 1: I'm gonna buy a new Walmart skateboard.
Guy 2: kys

by Shizenkai November 13, 2016

Walmart slut

One who buys lingerie and/or non brand name clothing in an attempt to procure wealth, goods and/or men.

If only that Walmart slut could have made it to Victoria’s Secret- they have a sale on black bras and no one would have to see her pasty white strap.

by Jax Loreau January 17, 2025