Captain Internet is antithesis of Captain Obvious. Instead of stating the obvious, Captain Internet will quote random and obscure facts that briefly made headlines on the Internet days, sometimes years, prior. That's not to say that Captain Internet has all this information in their head and ready to spout at will, the memory of Captain Internet remembers only pieces of the fact, just enough to perform a successful search of the Internet. Often the reference will come up in conversation and days later, Captain Internet will strike with a link about "that thing we were talking about" or two Captain Internet's will have a duel and attempt to prove that they were the first to learn about a given piece of information.
Captain Internet's pride comes not from knowing facts, or even providing useful information, but from knowing something that someone didn't know and proving that they knew it first.
While Captain Internet is a relatively new phenomenon, they are direct descendants of Captain Encyclopedia, who dominated post-conversation follow-up throughout most of the 20th century. Their rise has in part been aided by the posting site Reddit, since posts are time-stamped, allowing Captain Internet to prove that they were first to learn something.
Captain Internet's pride comes not from knowing facts, or even providing useful information, but from knowing something that someone didn't know and proving that they knew it first.
While Captain Internet is a relatively new phenomenon, they are direct descendants of Captain Encyclopedia, who dominated post-conversation follow-up throughout most of the 20th century. Their rise has in part been aided by the posting site Reddit, since posts are time-stamped, allowing Captain Internet to prove that they were first to learn something.
*** sometime in 2013 ***
friend: "have you seen this Gangnam Style video?
Captain Internet: "yes, that blew up last year. I saw it first on Youtube when it only had 100,000 views."
friend: email "look at these security images of cougars found stalking around a house in town"
Captain Internet: "I saw that on Reddit 5 days ago, here's the <link>"
friend: ".. and that's why carbon dioxide needs to be expelled from your lungs or it will become toxic.."
Captain Internet: "oh, that reminds me of this interesting lake somewhere that slowly collect carbon dioxide in it somehow.. I forget it's name"
4 days later
Captain Internet: email "here's the link for Lake Nyos, a lake in Cameroon that absorbs carbon dioxide from a volcanic vent underneath it, here's <link>"
friend: "thanks Captain Internet"
Captain Internet: "is that a real thing?
friend: "yes, I just made it up"
Captain Internet: "that's actually already on Urban Dictionary, here's the <link>"
friend: "have you seen this Gangnam Style video?
Captain Internet: "yes, that blew up last year. I saw it first on Youtube when it only had 100,000 views."
friend: email "look at these security images of cougars found stalking around a house in town"
Captain Internet: "I saw that on Reddit 5 days ago, here's the <link>"
friend: ".. and that's why carbon dioxide needs to be expelled from your lungs or it will become toxic.."
Captain Internet: "oh, that reminds me of this interesting lake somewhere that slowly collect carbon dioxide in it somehow.. I forget it's name"
4 days later
Captain Internet: email "here's the link for Lake Nyos, a lake in Cameroon that absorbs carbon dioxide from a volcanic vent underneath it, here's <link>"
friend: "thanks Captain Internet"
Captain Internet: "is that a real thing?
friend: "yes, I just made it up"
Captain Internet: "that's actually already on Urban Dictionary, here's the <link>"
by Kar Man May 20, 2013
Get the Captain Internetmug. Someone who constantly gets into arguments with theists on the Internet and then uses science as a basis for their argument despite having no scientific knowledge other than google searches. They also tend to see themselves as intellectually superior despite having a liberal arts degree.
Internet scientist: you believe in god? HA! God doesn't exist, you uneducated idiot
Theist: I have a Biology degree
Internet scientist: stop forcing your religion down my throat!
Theist: I have a Biology degree
Internet scientist: stop forcing your religion down my throat!
by Švelton November 6, 2015
Get the Internet Scientistmug. In·ter·net Pa·tho·gen
n.
Anything based on the Internet that could be perceived to be the root cause of an Internet disorder.
n.
Anything based on the Internet that could be perceived to be the root cause of an Internet disorder.
You should try reading books to learn things instead of trying to Google everything; Google is an Internet pathogen and can lead to Google Amnesia.
by Echo Pryce January 15, 2010
Get the Internet Pathogenmug. A social inadequate person who tries to get his point across on the internet because they can't do it in real life. Generally rubs his bishop over linux searching for open ports on other peoples computers. They have many many online friends all over the world. More than likely a moderator of a forum or game server. Conspiracies are a must!
Meat is Murder: What cha up to tonight bro?
Morbid: Gonna get me sum nosebag then pown all on WOW, then I'm gonna argue on the forum! Watch me show those losers who's daddy and smart!
Meat is Murder: Cripes! You be powning tonight then hommie!
Morbid: You betcha, behold my geeky skillz homeboy!
Meat is Murder: Same time and thing tomorrow squire?
Morbid: Damn straight! You know it dawg. I'll get my point across one of these years.
Meat is Murder: You be big boy of the internet my gangsta. Go pown dose internet nerds!
Morbid: Gonna get me sum nosebag then pown all on WOW, then I'm gonna argue on the forum! Watch me show those losers who's daddy and smart!
Meat is Murder: Cripes! You be powning tonight then hommie!
Morbid: You betcha, behold my geeky skillz homeboy!
Meat is Murder: Same time and thing tomorrow squire?
Morbid: Damn straight! You know it dawg. I'll get my point across one of these years.
Meat is Murder: You be big boy of the internet my gangsta. Go pown dose internet nerds!
by Ohnoesnerds June 3, 2010
Get the internet nerdmug. Someone who with holds the internet from people. This is mainly adults who only let their kids on the internet for 15 minuets at a time.
by Celestasia May 9, 2005
Get the Internet Nazimug. by DonH October 2, 2003
Get the Internet for Dummiesmug. A person who is in need of sleep who is mindlessly surfing the Internet. Usually an insomniac who gave up tossing and turning in bed and who turned on the computer to have something to do.
I have got to see my doctor about stronger sleeping pills. I was up all night doing the Internet Zombie thing. Gosh, I think I bought four or five things last night but I won't even know what they are until they arrive in the mail.
by Joe Neubarth July 12, 2007
Get the Internet Zombiemug.