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Exodus II

Moses 😨 "Thank you for granting me an audience my liege... I... have a request..."

Pharoah "Yeah, cut to the chase I got a lot going on here today. What do you want?"

Moses 😨 "Um... I... Uh, I mean... Elohim wants... You... To... Let all of the slaves go... He wants all the slaves..."

Pharoah "PFFT! WHAT!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! AHA! GET THE FUCK RIGHT OUT OF HERE! No! No, no you go fuck yourself, buddy! You can fuck right off with that! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Moses "He's... He's going to kill everybody... All of the first born sons! And the frogs!"

Pharoah "He's going to kill all the frogs?"

Moses "No it'll RAIN frogs! I... I don't know what to do..."

Pharoah "What... In the fuck is going on here? What is this? Is this a fucking joke to you?"

Moses "No! No, I... He gave me this stick *turns into snake* AH GOD SHIT!"

Pharoah "AAAH SHIT! WHAT IN THE FUCK!?"

Moses "I DON'T KNOW! I don't know! He just fucking walked up to me and he gave me a stick, man!"

Pharoah "Elohim!? That!? ☝️ The fucking guy? "

Moses "YES!"

Pharoah "Wh... How in the fuck... No. Nonono. Get the fuck out of here! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

Exodus II
by Hym Iam October 25, 2023
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Exodus III

God 😠

Moses "Um... I... He said..."

God "No, I know what he said! You forgot the COWS! THE COWS, MOSES! I KNEW you'd forget the cows! Me-Damnit!"

Moses "I'm sorry I..."

God "Yeah, I'm doing the thing. Frogs, blood, all of it. The cows were the most important part, Moses!"

Moses "More important than the slaves?"

God "YES! I need those cows Moses!"

Moses "What? Why? You're Elohim! You don't need cows! You made the cows!"

God "No, I- Those are the good cows, Moses. I want THOSE cows though. He needs to give them to me."

Moses 😨 "Are you..."

God "Yeah I'm doing the thing. Go! Go back! Get me those cows! The kids should be dead by now so... Go! Cows! DON'T FORGET!"

Moses 😨 *Walks off*

Exodus III
by Hym Iam October 25, 2023
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Exodus IV

Why roman numerals? I donno... They look dope.
Moses 😨 "Oh man..."

Woman 😭 "My baby! MY BABY!"

Moses "Oh jeez..."

Pharoah 😰 "How could this have happened?"

Moses "Pharoah I... I'm sorry I... I need those those slaves..."

Pharoah 😔 "Fine... Take them..."

Moses "Oo... Yeah... And I need some cows..."

Pharoah "HAVEN'T YOU TAKEN ENOUGH!?"

Moses "Yeah, I... He was pretty adamant about the cows..."

Pharoah "Fine... Just leave..."

Moses "Yeah... I'm gonna grab my magic stick-snake I don't know if that's import-"

Pharoah "GET OUT!"

Moses *Grabs snake and scurries off*

Exodus IV
by Hym Iam October 25, 2023
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Exodus, exoUdus, exoduS

Exodus, exoUdus, exoduS
Exodus, exoUdus, exoduS
by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim April 26, 2025
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An Exodus Cry

When, rather than watching pornography or having sex, you spend that time to spreading stochastic terrorism and misinformation to journalists in order to further your religious beliefs.
Wife "lets have sex tonight"

Husband "Honey, i cant, i got to have an Exodus Cry tonight.
by Sootyjared June 16, 2022
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premature exodus

When a significant portion of the population leaves major cities and relocates to the suburbs or rural areas, this occurs or is done before the customary or appropriate time.
There is a premature exodus happening in our city.
by Ali Mehr May 11, 2023
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premature exodus

A young or adolescent faggot or queer; a young confused human.
Because of you my son is an premature exodus.
by Ali Mehr May 11, 2023
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