Short People manlet gang

A grotesquely gnomish gaggle of ganged-up, overcompensating turbo-manlets who have, in a childish, desperate and doomed attempt at overcoming their crippling manletism, decided to form a midget gang. Once a diminutively dwarfed new recruit has been sexed-into the gang, it is mandatory for him to participate in typical gang activities, for example: tagging up turf by spray-painting garden gnomes at knee height onto garbage cans and pet doors, drinking Tall Boys and huffing Jenkem, prancing around naked except for high heels and assless chaps in their hobbit-hole of a gang hideout while towel snapping each other's posteriors in an effort to toughen themselves up, telling deeply embarrassing tall tales about how they used to be the biggest kid in preschool, injecting themselves with stolen bovine somatotropin in a futile and injudicious bid at escaping their inevitable fate of becoming a prison wife manlet once caught by the law and incarcerated and frantically praying in front of the countless Randy Newman posters adorning the walls of the manlet pit in their hobbit-hole gang hideout while repetitively reciting the lyrics of their favorite song Short People due to their shared obsession with the delusional hope of being blessed with an adult-onset growth spurt by their beloved God and hero Saint Newman.

Jessica: Lol, why are there a bunch of garden gnomes standing on the corner over there? Olivia: It's just a Short People manlet gang. Here, take my magnifying glass and have a closer look. Can you see that they got little hands, little eyes, that they walk around tellin' great big lies? They got little noses and tiny little teeth. Unsurprisingly they wear platform shoes on their nasty, little feet. Jessica: Oh yeah, they got little baby legs and they stand so low - I'd have to pick one of them up just to say hello! Olivia: Well, I don't want no short people 'round here. Jessica: Short people got no reason.

by ManletDepreciator September 11, 2024

misanthropic manlet

The perpetually petulant, paranoid and pessimistic petite misanthropic manlet is an isolated loner manlet who childishly shuns the company of grown-ups and instead prefers to focus his girlishly giddy energy on pursuing his numerous hobbies, including but not limited to: alcoholism, compulsively measuring his immutably dwarfed height every five minutes, e-shopping for children's clothes and high heels, daydreaming about getting pegged by a seven-foot tall dominatrix while he sings Short People in his high-pitched and squeaky-voiced manletspeak, performing delusional height increasing stretching exercises while listening to Skee-Lo's "I wish" and wearing nothing but high heels and a training bra, venting his manlet rage by ranting about how all women (righteously) reject and laugh at him at his local Bagel Boss and putting the finishing touches on his manlet manifesto before shooting up his favorite Barbie Dreamhouse due to the Barbie doll he was crushing on calling him an inherently effeminate, microscopically infinitesimal stunted beastling of a sissy manlet boy when she caught him in the Dreamhouse manlet pit as the deranged low IQ manlet was stupidly attempting to give the, by comparison towering, Ken doll a standing blowjob.

Emma: Lol, why is that misanthropic manlet furiously dry humping that garden gnome over there? Allison: It's because manlets can't be choosers. Emma: Short people got nobody. Allison: Hahahahaha!

by ManletDepreciator September 11, 2024

myopic manlet

The cerebrally and physically stunted myopic manlet is a microscopic mental midget of a minuscule manlet boy, who shortsightedly sees only the literally subhuman suffering of his own small-minded dwarven kind because, due to his eternal inability to grow up and be the bigger man, big picture thinking goes right over his pea-brained, little head. Deceased myopic manlets can often be found squashed flat as a pancake on country roads next to their close relative the, by comparison majestic, toad. Myopic manlets can easily be driven to venting their pent-up manlet rage and throwing a hissy fit with innocent questions and observations, such as: "Manlet detected.", "Nice high heels, my girlfriend has the same pair.", "Are you classified as a turbo-manlet? How tall are you?", "Aren't you the midget who played the manletservant Nick Nack in The Man with the Golden Gun?"

Manmore 1: Hey, why is that little girl crying in front of that beauty salon? Manmore 2: Myopic manlet detected. I think his new acrylic nails broke off when he got mauled by that chihuahua over there. Manmore 1: Lol, the victorious chihuahua even took the sissy manlet's high heels! Manmore 2: Manlets rise up!

by ManletDepreciator September 16, 2024

matriculated manlet

The matriculated manlet is a silly, little manlet boy who is senselessly enrolled at a college or university. Here the completely delusional and diminutively dwarfed Oompa Loompa wastes his time (when not working shifts at the chocolate factory) by furiously staring at all the tall and happy couples who walk around the campus like the bitter and envious peewee manlet that he is, crying all alone in the girl's bathroom after being asked by campus security if he was there for Take Your Daughter to Work Day and if he had lost his daddy and by being stuffed into backpacks, lockers, trashcans, lunchboxes, drawers, toilets, empty cigarette packs, pencil cases and used condoms like the inherently effeminate and minusculely malformed midget manlet bully magnet that he was always destined to be. When not being examined microscopically while standing on a petri dish by horrified microbiology students, the matriculated manlet is free to indulge in his true passions of girlishly practicing his bumbling cheerdance routine in an effort to become the captain of the local manlet football cheer squad and undergoing a brutal hazing ritual in order to join the only fraternity that would accept him, the Sigma Beta Manlet, by engaging in a fight to the death against fourteen other oiled up, bikini-clad midgets in an electrified bird cage.

Emma: Hey, why is that matriculated manlet tearfully ranting about women while sitting in his BMW in the parking lot over there? I could barely understand his manletspeak. Why all of the manlet rage? Isabella: He approached me, introduced himself as the supreme gentleman and brusquely told me to get in his car so that I can delight in his fabulousness and magnificence. I simply looked down at him and laughingly called him a petite and utterly insignificant little manlet fairy and then he just ran away crying to his Manletmobile. Emma: Manlets, when will they learn?

by ManletDepreciator September 16, 2024

Bagel Boss Manlet

Representing the pint-sized personification of manlet rage and standing shockingly small at 5 foot nothing, Chris "Bagel Boss" Morgan rose to short-lived infamy when he threw a hissy fit extraordinaire at a Long Island Bagel Boss in 2019. After falsely claiming that the friendly female cashier had smirked at his comically dwarfed height, Chris "Sissy Manlet" Morgan was recorded by amused onlookers as he was instantly overwhelmed by manlet rage and went on a childish tirade, furiously ranting about how women (understandably) hate him due to his sensationally stunted stature and egregiously evident Napoleon complex. Subsequently to being asked by a much taller customer to calm down and grow up, the rageaholic turbo-manlet petulantly proclaimed: "Shut your mouth! You're not God, or my father, or my boss!" - only to then transform into a tiny, little hamster when a heroic manmore made short work of the midget monstrosity and tackled him. Helpful height enthusiasts later found his now defunct YouTube channel featuring many similar videos which triggered an escalating series of well-deserved trolling sagas, eventually culminating in the Bagel Boss Manlet being cut down to size (more so than he naturally was) and thereby stopped short of realizing his delusional dream of following in the microscopic footsteps of ill-famed celebrity turbo-manlets such as Tiny Tom Cruise and Kevin "Homunculus" Hart by becoming just another high heels wearing comic relief Hollywood Oompa Loompa manlet.

Materialistic manlet: WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY HIGH HEELS?! Manmore: Cease your manletspeak and don't go Bagel Boss Manlet on me. Here, bounce around on this stress ball and dry your tiny tears with this tampon, you silly, little manlet boy.

by ManletDepreciator September 18, 2024

supreme gentleman manlet

A mentally masochistic and excessively ego-driven manlet boy (a male shorter than 5ft10), who is extremely prone to magical thinking and manlet rage. The term was coined by Elliot "The Supreme Gentleman" Rodger (aptly named The Virgin Killer by the media) during his unsurprisingly unsuccessful period of residence in Isla Vista, California while senselessly attending Santa Barbara City College and first published in mortifying videos with hilarious titles such as: "Why do girls hate me so much", "Life is so unfair because girls don't want me", "My reaction to seeing a young couple at the beach, Envy" on his now defunct YouTube channel and in his manlet manifesto "My Twisted World". In a highly amusing manifestation of manlet mathematics and guy height, Elliot "Tall Tales" Rodger liked to claim that he was 5ft10, his shamefully stunted truthful height being around 5ft6. Evidently afflicted with a Napoleon complex deluxe, unquestionably suffering from Napoleon complex psychosis and after having been bullied throughout all of his lowly life for being a Little Napoleon, rejected by every women in southern California, wasting thousands of dollars on lottery tickets (like the money-hungry dwarf that he was) and fracturing his delicate, little ankle in a fruitless fight against a group of laughing manmores, it was only a matter of time before the queen of manletism finally snapped and embarked on his abominable "Day of Retribution". Short people got no reason.

Natalie: Why is that garden gnome over there wearing Gucci sunglasses and a Hugo Boss shirt? Erin: Supreme gentleman manlet detected. Let's throw our high heels at him and see if he goes Bagel Boss Manlet on us! Natalie: Manlets BTFO. Hahahahaha!

by ManletDepreciator September 18, 2024

murderous manlet

The murderous manlet is an outrageously overcompensating, grotesquely gnomish and severely stunted sexy sissy manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10) who has childishly channeled his short man's syndrome-induced manlet rage into the pursuit and furtherance of criminal endeavors, which he is forced to conduct by the cowardly use of dwarfish manipulation tactics as he is obviously far too short to ever be looked up to as real man and a leader. The 5ft2 turbo-manlet Charles Milles Maddox "Manlet Boy" Manson, a misanthropic manlet and myopic manlet par excellence, learned the consequences of this lowly behavior the hard way when he was brutally bullied and turned into a prison wife manlet by the manmores of the Aryan Brotherhood prison gang while incarcerated in the early 1970's after brainwashing his feeble-minded cult followers into committing an escalating series of violent crimes in California in the late 1960's and early 1970's, culminating in the horrific Tate murders on the night of August 8, 1969. Remember kids, say no to drugs, never trust a manlet and height is a choice!

Bagel Boss Manlet: Shut your mouth! You're not God, or my father, or my boss! Towering manmore: Lol, don't go all murderous manlet on me, you silly, little midget boy! What's wrong? Did your mommy drop your pacifier? Hahahahaha!

by ManletDepreciator September 26, 2024