Grigori Rasputin

Grigori Rasputin had to be poisoned, shot several times, clubbed and then tossed into a frozen river before he was killed.

When he was found, his autopsy showed that he had died of hypothermia, despite the fact that he was found with a bullet hole in his forehead. Also, despite having consumed enough cyanide to kill several men, the autopsy showed no traces of poison.

Some accounts of his death suggest that his murderers had castrated him as well. A museum in St. Petersburg claims to have Rasputin's 12 inch long penis in a jar on display.

Stanley: If Grigori Rasputin and Sasquatch got into a fight, who would win?
Stuart: Motherfucking Grigori dude.

by Studogmillionaire August 30, 2010

Zealous Rasputin

The sexual act in which a bro manages to insert his flaccid dong into a woman's ass while simultaneously incubating his entire scrotum in her vagina. The goal is not to achieve sexual satisfaction, it is an act done in the shameless pursuit of giving warmth to one's genitals. The female need not know the motivation, but generally is not pleased with the outcome. The endgame, my friends, is to fall asleep in this state.

Yo Byron, did you hear that Gilgamesh pulled a Zealous Rasputin on Taybeesha last night? Oh yeah dude for sure, I heard that it was quite the event. She was reasonably livid about the whole thing but she grew to accept it. Who doesn't want a little bit of warmth in their life nigga?

by Manos Imilanololloolo June 29, 2013

Ra Ra Rasputin

A song that you dance too while crushing the skulls of your enemies.

Now's a great time to listen to Ra Ra Rasputin.
Ryan: Killing time! Turn up the Rasputin

by applesandgrapes October 22, 2017

The Beard Of Rasputin

The most mystical beard of them of. Dr. Kryptonite discovered it in the the late 17th century. He hoarded it for many years. Papa J discovered it and has used to enslave and persecute his minions. It is said that those who possess this beard, will rule. There can only be lord or the rasputin. You will the very best like no one ever was!

Fredo: "Oh man this beard looks so stupid."

Dingo: "What are you saying? This is the most powerful beard of all! It's The Beard Of Rasputin!"

Fread: "What??"

Dingo: "I shall enslave you!!!"

by dalyllama35 August 17, 2011

Ra Ra Rasputin

Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone

Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

by Dr. Tam of England October 2, 2018

Creepy Rasputin

If someone, ie, a guy, is behaving in a creepy (us. sexually creepy) manner, he may be deemed a creeper/creepy Rasputin. The name is not complete without the hand motion, a three-fingered clawing type motion with the right hand. The creepy Rasputin is the fourth level of creepiness/awkwardness.

*drunk dude dances up too closely on a girl at a frat party*
*girl makes the Creepy Rasputin gesture, three-fingered clawing type motion*
*girl's posse swoops in to save her*

by Middlebrook May 4, 2007

Testicular Rasputin

When the hair from your balls grows to such a length that it begins to resemble the long, thick beard of mystical adviser in the court of Czar Nicholas II, Grigori Rasputin.

Dude, jerry showed me his cock and balls last night, and he doesn’t shave around there; he has a serious testicular Rasputin!

by JK_Money June 27, 2020