by Can'tHelpYourself December 6, 2006
The best country you could live in. Im not just saying that to make Australia look good. It is by far the most amazing place..
by yeahbro February 8, 2009
A big island off the coast of New Zealand. Legend has it that kangaroos were the first to inhabit this island, before Captain Cook discovered it. Cook drove the kangaroos away, and it is said in ancient texts that they are planning their return and will soon reclaim this land for their own. It is recommended to walk around with full body armour at all times, as the riots of the underground leaders, of the kangaroo militia are getting even more un-predictable and dangerous.
by bloodnut April 30, 2006
The worst country ever. And I'm from Australia. You know it's shit because all you hear is dickheads saying "Australia is the best because we're laid back and like the 'footy'". Australia isn't laid back at all and society focuses it's attention on being within the top 5 most obese countries and also, cutting anyone down who has ambitions. The entertainment industry is laughable and anyone pursuing a career (I mean real career like being a musician or game designer not some shitty job like 'accounting') will have to leave this country to get any success. If you walk out on the street wearing cool clothes people give you odd looks for not being shit like them. This place is just another 9-5 fatass loser place with ugly slut women. NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS COUNTRY! THE ONLY ONES SAYING IT ROCKS ARE LOSERS WHO DON'T HAVE ANY ASPIRATIONS AT ALL!
Not only this, but australia has this thing where they remove anything awesome. i call it the AUSTRALIA'S CAMPAIGN ON ANYTHING GOOD. First they removed pop tarts because they were too awesome, then skittles but skittles returned. then they got rid of gummi worms then they started pulling bullshit like taking away my favourite beer from pubs and then when movies came out the best movies they'd only show in unknown random cinemas in the middle of nowhere. whenever i buy something like food and start to enjoy it a few weeks later they get rid of it. NO ONE NOTICES THIS SHIT. IN FACT, ANY AUSTRALIAN WON'T NOTICE HOW SHIT EVERYTHING IS.
what would you want to come here for? well we have the biggest rock in the world...oh well we have the beach? oh wait so does every other country.
Not only this, but australia has this thing where they remove anything awesome. i call it the AUSTRALIA'S CAMPAIGN ON ANYTHING GOOD. First they removed pop tarts because they were too awesome, then skittles but skittles returned. then they got rid of gummi worms then they started pulling bullshit like taking away my favourite beer from pubs and then when movies came out the best movies they'd only show in unknown random cinemas in the middle of nowhere. whenever i buy something like food and start to enjoy it a few weeks later they get rid of it. NO ONE NOTICES THIS SHIT. IN FACT, ANY AUSTRALIAN WON'T NOTICE HOW SHIT EVERYTHING IS.
what would you want to come here for? well we have the biggest rock in the world...oh well we have the beach? oh wait so does every other country.
tim says "i'm qualified to do this awesome job"
employer "well i'm going to have to hire someone worse than you because your too awesome. this is australia mate, we don't welcome kickass shit"
employer "well i'm going to have to hire someone worse than you because your too awesome. this is australia mate, we don't welcome kickass shit"
by jekkun December 17, 2007
Australia is the most dangerous country in the world. But it is only when the dim-witted toursits come and go swimming around in ponds then complain when crocs attack them. Stupid toursits. If you don't want to be eaten by crocks, attacked by sharks, stung by bees, eaten by drop bears, stalked by bunyips...then don't go there.
When you visit Australia, and go camping. Don't complain about our Vegemite. We love it. If you don't, don't whinge and whine cause we don't care, get stuffed would probably be the reply you'll get if you complain.
Don't compare us to or mistaken us for kiwis. we ain't no russell crows, and we dont sexually assault sheep.
Don't steal our tim tams. We will chase you.
When you visit Australia, and go camping. Don't complain about our Vegemite. We love it. If you don't, don't whinge and whine cause we don't care, get stuffed would probably be the reply you'll get if you complain.
Don't compare us to or mistaken us for kiwis. we ain't no russell crows, and we dont sexually assault sheep.
Don't steal our tim tams. We will chase you.
Ignorant Tourist: G'day mate.
Australian: Dude seriously, no one says that. shut up. Get stuffed. Bugger off.
Ignorant Tourist: Erm...........
Australian: Dude seriously, no one says that. shut up. Get stuffed. Bugger off.
Ignorant Tourist: Erm...........
by Angry Aussies to Ignorant Torusits July 26, 2006
One of the most beutiful countries in the world with low crime rate and very few racists.
We are one of the best countries at sport (try beat us at Cricket or Rugby)
We have some of he best doctors in the world and are one of the most medically advanced countries.
New Zeland you can have Russel Crowe back but clear all the phones out of the way first. We don't hate kiwis we think the sound funny because they say "Fesh and cheps" for fish and chips and "sex" for six but we don't hate them they are Australia Jr.
We do not sound anything like Steve Irwin and we don't have excess amounts of Kangaroos, Koalas, wombats etc.
Our government is a constitutional monarchy.
We are one of the best countries at sport (try beat us at Cricket or Rugby)
We have some of he best doctors in the world and are one of the most medically advanced countries.
New Zeland you can have Russel Crowe back but clear all the phones out of the way first. We don't hate kiwis we think the sound funny because they say "Fesh and cheps" for fish and chips and "sex" for six but we don't hate them they are Australia Jr.
We do not sound anything like Steve Irwin and we don't have excess amounts of Kangaroos, Koalas, wombats etc.
Our government is a constitutional monarchy.
Our Prime Minister is John howard he is better than the only other alternative (Kim Beasley) so until the other parties put up a good candidate we're keeping Howard.
Canberra is the nation's capital and it's beutiful city with lots of flora, all the convinence of the city without the negatives.
Hobart is in Tasmania and that's where our Cadbury factory is apart from that no one cares about Tassie.
Sydney has the best sites such as the sydney harbour bridge and the opera house. A great City.
Melbourne is where neighbours is filmed and is a bit of a scum whole but it does have some great things too.
Perth, the worst city in Australia they think they are better than everyone else.
Brisbane is our sunny city up in beutiful Queensland (who suck at state of orgin)
Adelaide I havn't been there but I suppose it's ok.
Canberra is the nation's capital and it's beutiful city with lots of flora, all the convinence of the city without the negatives.
Hobart is in Tasmania and that's where our Cadbury factory is apart from that no one cares about Tassie.
Sydney has the best sites such as the sydney harbour bridge and the opera house. A great City.
Melbourne is where neighbours is filmed and is a bit of a scum whole but it does have some great things too.
Perth, the worst city in Australia they think they are better than everyone else.
Brisbane is our sunny city up in beutiful Queensland (who suck at state of orgin)
Adelaide I havn't been there but I suppose it's ok.
by Brad J July 11, 2006
A fucking wasteland excuse of a country that prides itself on so called "conservation" and "saving the world"
And they honor these morals by raping and pillaging ALL the good acres of land for poorly built fucking expensive houses in which only Asian bastards and American cunts can buy only to turn into rentals where the fee's are unfair and high.
But this won't stop Australians pride themselves on valuing the economy and tourism and destroying precious forests to build more houses for people that don't live here, not to mention the center is a desert and the best parts to live are around the coast where all the forest is, so if the forest is in the way of $ forest gotta go!
Australia is just as full of cocksucking bullshit, braindead shitheaded faggots and Australians equivelant of rednecks (see RSL club members) that ignore all flaws and pride Australia for what it Once was, now its an overdeveloped shithole with a diminishing wildlife population.
And they honor these morals by raping and pillaging ALL the good acres of land for poorly built fucking expensive houses in which only Asian bastards and American cunts can buy only to turn into rentals where the fee's are unfair and high.
But this won't stop Australians pride themselves on valuing the economy and tourism and destroying precious forests to build more houses for people that don't live here, not to mention the center is a desert and the best parts to live are around the coast where all the forest is, so if the forest is in the way of $ forest gotta go!
Australia is just as full of cocksucking bullshit, braindead shitheaded faggots and Australians equivelant of rednecks (see RSL club members) that ignore all flaws and pride Australia for what it Once was, now its an overdeveloped shithole with a diminishing wildlife population.
by Topfragger November 3, 2008