Facebook Dad

A dad who typically spends all of his actual time hanging out with his friends and cars, but in the Facebook world is all "my child is my world!" And typically shares a picture of the two of them from his one night visit out if the week.

My dad was never around growing up, but noone knew that because he was the best Facebook dad around. His Facebook dad game was strong.

by An actual parent May 22, 2019

fossil dad

A father age 45+ when a child is born. A fossil dad is usually unable to play with his kids due to physical limitations brought upon by advanced age. Fossil dads combine the grumpiness, intolerance, and ignorance of today's price levels of a grandparent with the lack of understanding of a regular-age dad. Infrequently spotted with fossil moms.

There are two types of fossil dads:

1) The most common by far are dads who had children with Mom 1 on a normal schedule, then shacked up with younger Mom 2 who wanted her own kids and found himself awake at 3am cleaning poop off his sleeve for the first time in 20 years.

2) Less common are the first-timers who, for reasons of religious commitment or other strictures took a little extra time to find "the right woman for him."

Kevin Costner is a famous fossil dad with the resources to buy his way out of definition #1 above.

by Awnlooker May 14, 2010

Dad Rage

The intense burst of rage that a father gets when he finds out his child just crashed his new car.

Dad:"You did WHAT! DO U KNOW HOW MUCH THAT CAR COST!"

Freind:"Dude your dad has a serious case of dad rage."

by LO15 May 17, 2010

My Dad

Good at hide and seek

Me-Dad?
*hears car engine start*
My Dad-BYE!
Me-But i said no changing spots:(

by The_smart_dude February 8, 2021

dad drunk

A special kind of drunk only achievable by men in their 40s after crushing Coors lights.

Those guys are so dad drunk right now, they can't stop talking about the '85 Bears.

by RealOne97 April 18, 2018

Briona's dad

Briona's dad never came back, he is probably getting milk

Briona's dad doesn't exist, he is like a myth

by A72728228 April 30, 2021

D.A.D.S (dads)

“Day after drinking shits”

“I shouldn’t have drank so much last night, the D.A.D.S are killing me.”
“The D.A.D.S?”
“Yeah, it means day after drinking shits”
D.A.D.S (dads)- day after drinking shits

by bigtiddiegothgf February 24, 2019