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Corporate Cosplay

The act of when individuals in a white-collar environment masquerade as sophisticated, hi-powered professionals with dreams of innovation and corporate-ladder climbing.

In reality, they are nothing more than simpering, limp mediocrities with little imagination, over-inflated ambition, endless arsenals of vapid buzzwords and half-baked skills that offer nothing to whatever field or industry they happen to be (undeservedly) employed in.

The only thing they happen to share with real professionals who actually do know their shit, are direct as hell and get things done is their passion for their own business attire. Giorgio Armani, Hugo Boss, or hell, even some cheap-ass suit from Target won't hide the fact that these dipshits are out of their depth and pollute the office environment with their infinite, tedious posturing.

Unlike typical cosplay there ain't no hotties strutting around as Wonder Woman and Black Widow, or dudes stomping around as Thor or Batman here. Only simians with ties and lapels are what you can expect.
"Hey Sean, ready to watch the latest round of Corporate Cosplay in the Marketing Dept. Today?"

"Jesus Christ. If I hear the word 'artisan' or 'paradigm' from those fuckwits one more time I'm going to crack some skulls."
by No Man's Skyfall December 15, 2016
mugGet the Corporate Cosplaymug.

Corporate Rick

The guy that was once a participating member of the team but has now risen to corporate status and is now much too busy for the team. Of course, he still expects the free meeting lunches but obviously doesn't attend the meeting
There goes corporate Rick lunch in hand and not headed to the meeting with everyone else!
by Swaybone August 5, 2024
mugGet the Corporate Rickmug.

Corporate Sickness

The state of being mentally removed and detached from corporate business culture, and general disgust from the
overconsumption of business buzzwords and acronyms.
After twenty years of meetings, spreadsheets and conferences, I have corporate sickness and am retiring.
by NatureLloyder March 18, 2023
mugGet the Corporate Sicknessmug.

nova corporation

a roblox roleplay group based on breaking every rule set by the Regulations Department
the nova corporation is 1000% better than anything creepysins can shit out
by Idiocity January 29, 2024
mugGet the nova corporationmug.

Corporate Bullies

Toxic employees in a company who undermine internal and external colleagues who may pose a threat.
I find corporate bullies not only destructive, but counter-productive to the progress of a company.
by WisdomWithAge May 17, 2018
mugGet the Corporate Bulliesmug.

Corporate Cowboys

Individuals who work for money for the sake of money. Take care of business for business' sake. Renegades within corporate ranks, fucking up all kinds of bottlenecks and complacency. Rocks the boat and follows the money. Takes "In God We Trust" to literally mean our, the royal "We", trust held in fiat currency. Will break rules AND take credit for it. Not afraid to catch flak. Cutthoat. Guilty by association. Wet you up from the neck up. Originated in the US of A. Pioneered in the Wild West. There is no final frontier...
Example

Person 1: License and registration, please.
Person 2: *hands them papers*
Person 1: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Person 2: Just doing your job?
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: You being smart with me?
Person 2: You pulled ME over.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: Okay, I see the registered owner's name and the name on your ID do not match. Care to explain?
Person 2: This... is a company car-
Person 3: Would you like a business card. We're Corporate Cowboys tonight.
Person 1: Oh...Uhhh, no. That won't be necessary. I'm aware of who y'all are... Just doing your job, too, huh?
Person 3: We can't disclose that information.
Person 1: So the owner of this is uhh..?
Person 2: We can't disclose that information.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 2: Well, let's wrap this up-
Person 1: W-would you like my name and badge number? My sergeant doesn't have to hear about this...
Person 2: Easy, Officer... We're on the same side here. Technically, we're all Corporate.
Person 3: Yeah, you are the "loss prevention" to our "collections". We never cross, because we never fuck up.
Person 1: So am I being detained?
Person 2: ...
Person 3: ...redacted? Do we take their name and badge?
Person 1: Please?
Person 2: Have a quiet night, Officer. Drive safe.
by el socio October 12, 2018
mugGet the Corporate Cowboysmug.

Mayo Corporation GmbH

Mayo Corporation GmbH, Famously known as Mayocorp is the most sustainable mayo corporation out there. Has no competitors because it is just better.....

Mayo Corp is well know for their "sustainable" approach to taping the Atlantic icebergs together with sticky tape.

Maycorp as won many awards, ones you can see due to the confidential website
Mayo Corporation GmbH - limited but not limited to mayo

Gurby S (18), Mumbai (5 Stars) - (Loud Voice) Wasn't Me.
Alfred (57), Catanzaro (5 Stars) - This company seems wrong yah? But no no, I live in Italian my whole life and since come to Catanzaro it make it very nice. I once kicke the footbal and GOAL. Highly recommend and the German Pizza was very strong!
by Rice Nibba March 15, 2023
mugGet the Mayo Corporation GmbHmug.

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