Fix News

The far-right junkie's daily injection of toxic fantasy and rage.

He needed it bad, needed it now! now! startin' to shake 'n where's the remote? Where is my Goddamned remote?! Ping! and oh, right there! Hannity!!... ahhhhh... there... my Fix News, okay man, rigged, fraud, reverse the election, dead voters, Venezuelan ballots and man-made covid 'cause Melania takes her mask off in the goddamned children's hospital and the kids do not get sick and die, one kleenex and so what?! not over, man, not over, second term landslide starts inauguration day... better now, so... much......... better.

by Monkey's Dad December 20, 2020

New Doofy

A better, more enlightened version of one's former self. Often used in the frame of Chuck Norris jokes and "Old Kanye - New Kanye" comparisons. New Doofy always has more money, class, style and wisdom than his former self.

New Doofy always has money in the banana stand. New Doofy sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

by Acoustic Cat August 25, 2022

New Vegian

very pogger man, better than farrow at game

new vegian is a lot better than your pp

by mikeprogamingroblox69420 September 21, 2021

New Mexico Rimmer

When you use tajin while giving a rim job.

Hey did you know that they give New Mexico Rimmers here?

by *_*suck_my_cack*_* August 28, 2021

No. I'm not looking for a new job.

I don't have to choose between tolerating harassment and leaving and the harassment is following me from job to job so that isn't going to get me what I want.

Hym "No. I'm not looking for a new job. This will be my last job. You need to fire Rick for doing this. Avery too. You fired the black guy. Black Tony. They fired him. Actually you let Avery get away with buying cigarellos even though he was under age. I did stop working as hard because they were doing this and I reject the notion that it shouldn't affect anything I do. If you do not change their behavior, you either need to fire them, or I'm going to sue. I do not need to leave. I do not need to go to Amy or Sarah. You need to stop trying to convince me to do something else. I'm not going to submit to your will no matter how long you try to do it and if you really want to do what I'm doing you need to stop trying but if not trying doesn't get me what I want that I'm going to murder someone's kid."

by Hym Iam July 6, 2025

Spiffy News

Spiffy news is a youtube channel created by entrepreneur Ryan Lutness. They are known for Making short news skits and satire super hero movies.

Spiffy News Bjorn Boy has over 200 subscribers.

by BigGuyOfTHETown October 4, 2019

Breaking news!

Sentient chicken pot-pie doesn't like fire. Condemns Self-Immolation.

Hym "Breaking news! I'm running out of 'things that go in ovens' to call him. A Thanksgiving turkey! Living lasagna! Assorted bakery foods. Muffin (a repeat), Brownies (Which SOUNDS racist but isn't), Birthday Cake (Just seems lazy), A ziti? Baked ziti? I don't even know what that is. It's hard to think of non-bakery things. Meatloaf (another repeat). Roast beef? Do jews have baked goods? That'd be like a poptart cooking a poptart, wouldn't it? Pizza. Calzones. A baby. You can cook a baby in an oven. So, that counts... Hmmm... Pie. Obviously. Stuffed hashbrowns... I need to cook more."

by Hym Iam February 29, 2024