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Alt boho mom

The Alt Boho mom does not fall prey to all suburban soccer mom fads and trends, she's not quite crunchy or granola mom, but yet grows her own veggies, or attempts to...but she's a mom. So the back up is to hit her local farmers market. Her house is decorated with plants, mixed with mid century modern vibe, and taxidermy (in the bug variety). She prepares home-cooked meals, but grub hubs from the neighborhood Indian restaurant, weekly. She follows vaccine schedules but breastfeeds until her baby can ask in a full sentence "May I have a boobie please?" She gives birth at home, or a birthing center and dreams of a water birth. For fun She follows true crime podcasts, and solves cold case murders. She has traded in former activities of live music shows in various basements, for watching NPR Tiny Desk Concerts.

Her kids names are unique or inspired by musicians, scientists or vintage family names. They play with wooden, Montessori toys, wear cloth diapers, that she may have a service for. Some are raised gender non-conforming. She lives either in remodeled, vintage, older homes with gay neighbors on each side, or in the suburbs where she takes long trail walks each day.
A conversation between a soccer mom and an alt boho mom sounds like this.
Soccer mom: "Would you like to join me at Orange Theory for a work out?"

Alt Boho Mom: "Do you know what the carbon footprint is of treadmills. Walking outdoors is free, and I just read all this research based information on how it supports your mental health. Also, there was a cold case murder that occurred on this trail and I think I know where."
Soccer mom: "OMG that's horrifying, is it a safe trail for the kids! You should notify neighborhood watch."

Alt Boho Mom: "I'll bring some gluten free fig bars from the co-op and clay for sun screen."
Soccer Mom: "I have to pick up my Subaru outback from its oil change, drop Noah at baseball and pick up Delaney from dance, then I'll be OMW."
by Nerdybird30 May 19, 2022
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u mom gay

it's when u accuse a person to have a gay mom
by funny stuff u nab December 2, 2019
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A Midwestern Soccer Mom

An alcohol beverage made with a 1:1 mixture of Red Wine and Diet Pepsi.
I was over at Dave's house the other night and I drank a Midwestern Soccer Mom.
by ypoctac June 24, 2021
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Puppets Mom

Strings attached to the ass, Mother of a bad ass little kid, who she lets get away with anything and will not discipline, and gets offended if its pointed out to her or if another person trys to step in an unpleasant conditions which must be accepted as part of deal in order to seal the deal
This girl is so fine but she's a puppets mom so she got strings attached to that ass
by MutedDevil June 12, 2021
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your mom

your mom is the thing you came out of and is the thing your freind is fucking
by braampie October 11, 2022
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Mom's Spaghetti

When you're hooking up and she's on her period and it gets all over your balls.
Jim: Did you fuck her?

Tom: Bro It was mom's spaghetti all up in there.
by DictionaryDick123 July 9, 2021
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Ur mom

Bro ur mom is so hot
by user60965784 March 7, 2022
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