The almonds aren’t going to milk themselves

A funny thing to reply with (because almonds don’t lactate) when somebody asks, “What are you doing up so early?”.

Kyle: What are you doing up so early?

Rob: The almonds aren’t going to milk themselves.

And then everyone claps 👏

by 1234Life July 4, 2022

I have to go do something

The common phrase use to dump a person on a first date

Usually when using it in a sentence, you either start or end it with a sorry.

First Example:
Wanna do this again?
Sorry I have to do something tomorrow.
Second Example:
Oh your gonna love my mom when we go to my apartment.
Wait. I have to go do something, sorry.

by Qoak October 16, 2020

I won't go to sleep on you.

You will do what you say you will do!

Don't worry, I'll remember our agreement, "I won't go to sleep on you."

by Taylor Madison May 12, 2016

im going to pet my spider

to jerk at ones penis

Hey steve ill be right back im going to pet my spider in the bathroom!

by thesythmyth May 9, 2018

Go*^d m{rn~nG

Go*^d m{rn~nG is a Word spoken by Gerard Once on Twitter. Go*^d m{rn~nG is the Feeling of emptiness and feeling of Void in your mind it is also spoken as a meme Mostly by Me

Go*^d m{rn~nG is my total mood today.

by RFNDVIBKJ#RKUBVG WSJB<HKNILGRU May 27, 2021

go sex your own body

A more wordy form of "Go fuck yourself."

Man 1: "You smell like a used cum sock"

Man 2: "How bout you go sex your own body"

by Thine Lord of Pineapple December 27, 2021

Slug Going Down a Sandpaper Hallway

The worst possible thing to happen during sex. It's when a Guy cant get hard and a chick can't get wet.

Brad: Bro, How did your night with Sandy go? You finally got her to go home with you?
Tyrone: Yeah but it didn't go well. Bruh, That shit was like a Slug Going Down a Sandpaper Hallway. Shit i blame it on my Whiskey Dick.
Brad: Damn man that's fucked up

by 💃BiaCaramelQueen🤳🏽 July 22, 2015