i'm not even joking

A phrase said when you say something so outlandish or unrealistic that one may believe you are just saying it as a joke and don't actually mean it, so you say this to make it clear you're dead serious.
Person 1: HOLY SHIT, MY FAMILY JUST GOT SHOT TO DEATH BY A BANANA!!! I'M NOT EVEN JOKING!!!
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leik i even care

when you do not care about what was said to you
Human 1: Hey man did you hear what that guy said about you?
Human 2: leik i even care
by :ge: October 05, 2017
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Evening Push

A bunch of men go into the forest and walk in a straight line till one shoots a dear and saves it for supper
I shot a deer during the evening push
by Hohan the Great November 21, 2020
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even and peyton

A good couple. They are both super short and are super cute together.
by lol lol lol lol lol lol lol February 13, 2018
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Why did I even buy this mug?

What you might ask after buying a mug from Urban Dictionary.
1: Hey man, that mug sucks.
2: I thought it was funny, but now that I think of it, why did I even buy this mug?
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Even flow

Person 1: what’s steezustheme
Person2: even flow
by Apexghost13 August 01, 2023
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(Тайное становитса Ясным in Russian)

an expression meaning

even the best kept of secrets will become known sooner or later
son: dad, how did you know i had bad grades?

father: (roflmao) son, even walls have eyes and ears. You tried burning your report card, but forgot to take the ashes out of the fireplace; put 2 and 2 together, and you get 4, right?. You therefore Have The Right to Remain Silent.
by Sexydimma April 06, 2013
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