When a company hires musicians to make rock and roll.
The rock typically sounds like something you'd hear in a 2000s teen's movie or a commercial.
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The rock typically sounds like something you'd hear in a 2000s teen's movie or a commercial.
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Guy 1 "Did you hear that music in the commercial?"
Guy 2 "Yeah, it sounded like Corporate rock, I swore I also heard in some shitty teen's movie"
Guy 2 "Yeah, it sounded like Corporate rock, I swore I also heard in some shitty teen's movie"
by dghgt October 19, 2023
Get the Corporate rock mug.by CONSPICUOUS. September 23, 2025
Get the corporate meddling mug.(Adjective) used to describe someone being a try-hard and just an all around asshole to the public. He/she pulls people over for going 5mph over the limit. Old ladies are not safe either
“I just got pulled over by Corporal Bailey. What a douche bag. He was red in the face because I had a handicap placard hanging from my mirror!”
by buttchicken6969 September 22, 2025
Get the Corporal Bailey mug.The Great Corporate War has raged since thee conception of fiat. Organizations, governments, associations, companies and corporations all came up out of the woodwork to battle it out in this realm of stocks, bonds, and mutual funds. Cartels, mafias, and every kind of gang live to make money. Banks live to launder it. We live to spend it and put it in the right hands. The cycle of drugs, murder, skulduggery, and straight fuckery go deep, and continue without cease. Cash is king, and gold is queen. The king can be stretched, but the queen is sacred, feel me. If you have a job you're in the game. Nobody's innocent. Every conflict has been funded and back by government and corporate dollars. And that's the beauty of it. The Corporate War has no end in sight, because fiat is a promise and promises are older than money... It's good vs evil, out here in the streets. It's Corporate War, baby.
Example
Person 1: When do I get my sign up bonus...?
Person 2: HAha what?? There is no sign up bonus. Here's a compensation plan. You have a quota to hit this month.
Person 1: Hehe... okay. What if I can't hit these numbers? They seem a little excessive.
Person 2: Excessive? You signed up during Corporate War and you ain't even in your prime yet. We're gonna make you a killing machine-
Person 1: I'm sorry?
Person 2: A closing machine. I'll tell you if you do anything crazy to hit those numbers and jail in the clink, we can help with an advance on your check and post bail..
Person 1: *wtf...*
Person 1: When do I get my sign up bonus...?
Person 2: HAha what?? There is no sign up bonus. Here's a compensation plan. You have a quota to hit this month.
Person 1: Hehe... okay. What if I can't hit these numbers? They seem a little excessive.
Person 2: Excessive? You signed up during Corporate War and you ain't even in your prime yet. We're gonna make you a killing machine-
Person 1: I'm sorry?
Person 2: A closing machine. I'll tell you if you do anything crazy to hit those numbers and jail in the clink, we can help with an advance on your check and post bail..
Person 1: *wtf...*
by el socio October 13, 2018
Get the corporate war mug.by WisdomWithAge May 17, 2018
Get the Corporate Bullies mug.The guy that was once a participating member of the team but has now risen to corporate status and is now much too busy for the team. Of course, he still expects the free meeting lunches but obviously doesn't attend the meeting
by Swaybone August 5, 2024
Get the Corporate Rick mug.The act of when individuals in a white-collar environment masquerade as sophisticated, hi-powered professionals with dreams of innovation and corporate-ladder climbing.
In reality, they are nothing more than simpering, limp mediocrities with little imagination, over-inflated ambition, endless arsenals of vapid buzzwords and half-baked skills that offer nothing to whatever field or industry they happen to be (undeservedly) employed in.
The only thing they happen to share with real professionals who actually do know their shit, are direct as hell and get things done is their passion for their own business attire. Giorgio Armani, Hugo Boss, or hell, even some cheap-ass suit from Target won't hide the fact that these dipshits are out of their depth and pollute the office environment with their infinite, tedious posturing.
Unlike typical cosplay there ain't no hotties strutting around as Wonder Woman and Black Widow, or dudes stomping around as Thor or Batman here. Only simians with ties and lapels are what you can expect.
In reality, they are nothing more than simpering, limp mediocrities with little imagination, over-inflated ambition, endless arsenals of vapid buzzwords and half-baked skills that offer nothing to whatever field or industry they happen to be (undeservedly) employed in.
The only thing they happen to share with real professionals who actually do know their shit, are direct as hell and get things done is their passion for their own business attire. Giorgio Armani, Hugo Boss, or hell, even some cheap-ass suit from Target won't hide the fact that these dipshits are out of their depth and pollute the office environment with their infinite, tedious posturing.
Unlike typical cosplay there ain't no hotties strutting around as Wonder Woman and Black Widow, or dudes stomping around as Thor or Batman here. Only simians with ties and lapels are what you can expect.
"Hey Sean, ready to watch the latest round of Corporate Cosplay in the Marketing Dept. Today?"
"Jesus Christ. If I hear the word 'artisan' or 'paradigm' from those fuckwits one more time I'm going to crack some skulls."
"Jesus Christ. If I hear the word 'artisan' or 'paradigm' from those fuckwits one more time I'm going to crack some skulls."
by No Man's Skyfall December 15, 2016
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