by WisdomWithAge May 17, 2018
Get the Corporate Bulliesmug. A fictitious rank for someone who believes that they are a genius military leader (or at least more competent than their actual military leaders), due specifically to their lower-level military experience.
Typically found among former soldiers who end up in positions of authority, and believe that their being in the army once, and being from the rank and file and not an officer, makes them more qualified to make big decisions than actual officers, despite said officers potentially having made such big decisions for many years, but who were obviously out of touch because they'd started their careers as officers and had spent most of their time behind desks.
Similar to the armchair general, but with the caveat of even the tiniest amount of military service instantly making them more qualified than other armchair generals.
Typically found among former soldiers who end up in positions of authority, and believe that their being in the army once, and being from the rank and file and not an officer, makes them more qualified to make big decisions than actual officers, despite said officers potentially having made such big decisions for many years, but who were obviously out of touch because they'd started their careers as officers and had spent most of their time behind desks.
Similar to the armchair general, but with the caveat of even the tiniest amount of military service instantly making them more qualified than other armchair generals.
"And so Hitler the Corporal-General, remembering his time as a corporal in the trenches of the Western Front, declared that putting more resources into producing flamethrowers would win the war, much to the chagrin of his generals, who had instead been trying to get him to allocate more divisions to repel the allied invasion of Sicily."
by Dr Mg October 14, 2022
Get the Corporal-generalmug. Individuals who work for money for the sake of money. Take care of business for business' sake. Renegades within corporate ranks, fucking up all kinds of bottlenecks and complacency. Rocks the boat and follows the money. Takes "In God We Trust" to literally mean our, the royal "We", trust held in fiat currency. Will break rules AND take credit for it. Not afraid to catch flak. Cutthoat. Guilty by association. Wet you up from the neck up. Originated in the US of A. Pioneered in the Wild West. There is no final frontier...
Example
Person 1: License and registration, please.
Person 2: *hands them papers*
Person 1: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Person 2: Just doing your job?
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: You being smart with me?
Person 2: You pulled ME over.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: Okay, I see the registered owner's name and the name on your ID do not match. Care to explain?
Person 2: This... is a company car-
Person 3: Would you like a business card. We're Corporate Cowboys tonight.
Person 1: Oh...Uhhh, no. That won't be necessary. I'm aware of who y'all are... Just doing your job, too, huh?
Person 3: We can't disclose that information.
Person 1: So the owner of this is uhh..?
Person 2: We can't disclose that information.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 2: Well, let's wrap this up-
Person 1: W-would you like my name and badge number? My sergeant doesn't have to hear about this...
Person 2: Easy, Officer... We're on the same side here. Technically, we're all Corporate.
Person 3: Yeah, you are the "loss prevention" to our "collections". We never cross, because we never fuck up.
Person 1: So am I being detained?
Person 2: ...
Person 3: ...redacted? Do we take their name and badge?
Person 1: Please?
Person 2: Have a quiet night, Officer. Drive safe.
Person 1: License and registration, please.
Person 2: *hands them papers*
Person 1: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Person 2: Just doing your job?
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: You being smart with me?
Person 2: You pulled ME over.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: Okay, I see the registered owner's name and the name on your ID do not match. Care to explain?
Person 2: This... is a company car-
Person 3: Would you like a business card. We're Corporate Cowboys tonight.
Person 1: Oh...Uhhh, no. That won't be necessary. I'm aware of who y'all are... Just doing your job, too, huh?
Person 3: We can't disclose that information.
Person 1: So the owner of this is uhh..?
Person 2: We can't disclose that information.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 2: Well, let's wrap this up-
Person 1: W-would you like my name and badge number? My sergeant doesn't have to hear about this...
Person 2: Easy, Officer... We're on the same side here. Technically, we're all Corporate.
Person 3: Yeah, you are the "loss prevention" to our "collections". We never cross, because we never fuck up.
Person 1: So am I being detained?
Person 2: ...
Person 3: ...redacted? Do we take their name and badge?
Person 1: Please?
Person 2: Have a quiet night, Officer. Drive safe.
by el socio October 12, 2018
Get the Corporate Cowboysmug. The state of being mentally removed and detached from corporate business culture, and general disgust from the
overconsumption of business buzzwords and acronyms.
overconsumption of business buzzwords and acronyms.
After twenty years of meetings, spreadsheets and conferences, I have corporate sickness and am retiring.
by NatureLloyder March 18, 2023
Get the Corporate Sicknessmug. Modern day slavery in the workforce is corporate slavery is the mistreatment of employees by paying low wages and no health care. Typically you have a toxic manager that focuses on what you do wrong, which is minimal, but focusing on what you do well and does realize that you have a life outside of work. Often there is a point system for attendance, for instance getting one point for calling sick. You can only earn a certain of points if you call off for work, but you could be a single mother with sick children. Corporate Slavery has risen dramatically due to the decline of unions and "The Right to Work"
Me: Kathy just called in sick for today because when she woke up, her fiancee next to her in bed had died in bed.
Krystal: Can you believe Sheri's response to Kathy was that since it was unplanned absence she would earn a point. Then the boss told her she wouldn't paid for her bereavement time, because he was just a fiancee - not yet a husband.
Me: So wait - are telling me that Kathy won't received the paid bereavement because he was "just" a fiancee. I can't believe Sheri would even mention points. Like Kathy gives a shit right now.
Krystal: This is corporate slavery. Remember when the computers were non-functional and we had to show up to this damn cube farm all three days and just at a non-working computer.
Me: That was horribly boring! Right right this is just a form of modern day slavery. I hate it here, when do I get to time off during the day to be able to interview. It is almost impossible to get your time off approved.
Krystal: Can you believe Sheri's response to Kathy was that since it was unplanned absence she would earn a point. Then the boss told her she wouldn't paid for her bereavement time, because he was just a fiancee - not yet a husband.
Me: So wait - are telling me that Kathy won't received the paid bereavement because he was "just" a fiancee. I can't believe Sheri would even mention points. Like Kathy gives a shit right now.
Krystal: This is corporate slavery. Remember when the computers were non-functional and we had to show up to this damn cube farm all three days and just at a non-working computer.
Me: That was horribly boring! Right right this is just a form of modern day slavery. I hate it here, when do I get to time off during the day to be able to interview. It is almost impossible to get your time off approved.
by Siouxsie Supertramp October 12, 2020
Get the Corporate Slaverymug. A corporation or other entity in a state of artificial, transient economic prosperity, requiring a constant flow of exorbitant amounts of money or other resources to maintain itself. Steroidial corporations will often go to extreme measures to maintain their artificial prosperity, such as committing human rights violations or engaging in political lobbying.
America is dominated by the aggressive ambitions of steroidial corporations such as Amazon and Google. Not knowing when to back down, they have grown into terrible monstrosities with countless instances of corruption and human rights violations attributed to them. The government would surely step in to stop them if the government had not also become reliant on the heaps of dirty money coming in via taxes and bribery to sustain themselves. With how deeply-rooted the corruption of the American government and its gluttonous corporate sponsors has become, many Americans worry that only a third world war could be enough to set things right once and for all...
by Inlovewithabsol February 26, 2023
Get the Steroidial corporationmug. by 32768 April 19, 2012
Get the corporate ecologymug.