2 hands on the phone

A term used when reading smut on a phone, (comminly used on Fan Fiction sites) to tell others to not self pleasure whilest reading.

2 hands on the phone you bunch of gooners!

by ICBWYBRBMSID January 23, 2026

Pregnant 2 x 4

A suprisingly tall and athletic yet full figured man that can smash a golf ball with a fully arched back representing a quality power bottom

I can’t believe we are losing to these pregnant 2 x 4’s…how can they even put a smooth swing on ball!!! They look like domesticated apes

by HoovDog76 January 25, 2026