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Wild Deuces

To use a public bathroom without ever being a customer because your colon is about 90 seconds from blowing out. Dropping Wild Deuces usually involves little to no eye contact. At most, the person throwing down will shrug their shoulders evoking a head shake from the employee.
Manager: "Have you seen the guy in the red hat?"

Employee: "Yeah - he dropped Wild Deuces then high-tailed it for the door. When I asked if he needed any help, he just said 'I'm good' without ever making eye contact."

Manager: "Sh*t - again! Wild Deuces again! I'm going to go to his house, drop Wild Deuces, and then just leave without ever saying 'hi' to his wife or anything."
by Arthur Drood October 5, 2016
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No dice on a deuce

Expression of disappointment after failing to have a bowel movement.
I'd hoped the kid would poop before we got on the road, but alas, no dice on a deuce.
by Moteq January 1, 2017
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doobie deuce

When you're smoking weed and you take a really nice shit.
When you're smoking in the bathroom with friends, it's inappropriate to take a doobie deuce.
by Doobie Deucer January 14, 2017
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Deuce Dialing

Someone who talks on their cell phone while dropping a stink pickle in the can. This could be a male or female.
I could hear her Deuce Dialing someone when I went in the bathroom at work. Can you hear me now?...plop.
by Mancave Movie Madness February 12, 2020
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Egyptian deuce

When used toilet paper floats and wraps itself around a turd, forming a mummy
See also: floating mummy, Egyptian turd,poo,shit,etc
Last tuesday little Billy gold took a shit, after wiping he went to get a plunger, by the time he had come back, he noticed his shit had become wrapped like the mummies of ancient egypt. He had taken an egyptian deuce
by Icouldntthinkofaname123 July 19, 2012
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shalom deuce

"peace out"

A slang term used to say good-bye. Often stated with a simultaneous performance of hand gestures for added emphasis. While saying "shalom" the two-finger peace sign is flashed (with the back of the hand facing the recipient of the salutation) followed my an immediate 90 degree rotation of posed hand (counter clockwise for the right hand, clockwise for the left). The word "deuce" is spoken during the rotation of the hand. For added flair, one may pound the chest twice with the posed hand and/or slide away said hand from the body in a movement that is parallel to the ground.
by Just Reuben September 4, 2013
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Baker's deuce

From the former practice of bakers of adding a third to a batch of two in order to avoid punishment for accidentally delivering underweight deuces.
Johnson: "Wait, how many english muffs did you have for dinner last night?"

John Thomas: "I ended up buying a baker's deuce - two for dinner, and one for dessert."
by billybee69 March 23, 2011
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