by Laxgirl6969 February 21, 2021
I was only 9 years old.
I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies.
I pray to Shrek every night, thanking him for the life I’ve been given. “Shrek is love” I say, “Shrek is life."
My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Shrek.
I called him a cunt.
He hits me and sends me to sleep.
I'm crying now and my face hurts.
I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm...
It's Shrek! I was so happy.
He whispers in my ear "This is my swamp."
He grabs me with his ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready.
I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek.
He penetrates my butthole.
It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering.
I want to please Shrek.
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love.
My dad walks in.
Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says,
"It's all ogre now."
Shrek leaves through my window.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies.
I pray to Shrek every night, thanking him for the life I’ve been given. “Shrek is love” I say, “Shrek is life."
My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Shrek.
I called him a cunt.
He hits me and sends me to sleep.
I'm crying now and my face hurts.
I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm...
It's Shrek! I was so happy.
He whispers in my ear "This is my swamp."
He grabs me with his ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready.
I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek.
He penetrates my butthole.
It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering.
I want to please Shrek.
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love.
My dad walks in.
Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says,
"It's all ogre now."
Shrek leaves through my window.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
Shrek is Love Shrek is Life
by QuandaleDingleNigger March 08, 2024
Person 1) Isn't school a fucking pain in the ass?
Person 2) You know what it IS?
Person 1) What?
Person 2) Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life.
Person 1) Blud you speaking fax 🗣
Person 2) You know what it IS?
Person 1) What?
Person 2) Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life.
Person 1) Blud you speaking fax 🗣
by AverageAvgeek January 02, 2024
All together now
Live, live is life
Live, live is life
When we all give the power
We all give the best
Every minute of an hour
Don't think about a rest
Then you all get the power
You all get the best
And everyone gives everything
And every song everybody sings
Then it's life
Live is life
Live, live is life
Live, live is life
When we all give the power
We all give the best
Every minute of an hour
Don't think about a rest
Then you all get the power
You all get the best
And everyone gives everything
And every song everybody sings
Then it's life
Live is life
Live is life, live
Live is life, when we all feel the power
Live is life, come on, stand up and dance
Live is life, when the feeling of the people
Live is life, is the feeling of the band, yeah
When we all give the power
We all give the best
Every minute of an hour
Don't think about a rest
Then you all get the power
You all get the best
And everyone gives everything
And every song everybody sings
Then it's life
Live is life
Live, live is life
Live, live is life
Live, live is life
And you call when it's over
You call it should last
Every minute of the future
Is a memory of the past
'Cause we all gave the power
We all gave the best
And everyone gave everything
And every song everybody sang
Live is life
Live is life, when we all feel the power
Live is life, come on, stand up and dance
Live is life, when the feeling of the people
Live is life, is the feeling of the band, yeah
When we all give the power
We all give the best
Every minute of an hour
Don't think about a rest
Then you all get the power
You all get the best
And everyone gives everything
And every song everybody sings
Then it's life
Live is life
Live, live is life
Live, live is life
Live, live is life
And you call when it's over
You call it should last
Every minute of the future
Is a memory of the past
'Cause we all gave the power
We all gave the best
And everyone gave everything
And every song everybody sang
Live is life
by Gothic Miscreant December 04, 2023
by Council of Funny June 16, 2024
Here are a few ways to make yourself popular on big-name dating apps like Tinder, especially in big cities. Here are a few (unwritten!) rules in exact ascending (beginning) order:
Photofeeler
Use Photofeeler. If you don't know what that website is, search it up on your bar. Photofeeler is THE ONLY reliable website to measure your looks. Aim for 20 to 40 votes, which is the standard factor.
EMPATHY-associated pictures are always encouraged. A picture of you next to a gentle pet - a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a guinea pig, a goldfish, or such similar beings - will increase your matches by a vast percentage.
DON'T EVER use any pictures where you are posing near or inside a car or truck, regardless of how nice it looks. JUST DON'T. Unless gold diggers are what you're aiming for, please avoid the car pictures. And ESPECIALLY stay away from a car your parent or boss owns.
For reuse on dating apps
In addition to the entire Photofeeler section written above, make sure that when you are finished, prioritize the one with the highest total score (all photos should have attractiveness scores of no less than 5.0 out of 10, with an absolute minimum "confidence interval" rating of 4.0 out of 10). Contrary to popular belief, attractiveness alone will NOT get you dates. But smartness and trustworthiness combined with attractiveness will earn you multiple dates and even a whole relationship.
DO NOT mention politics or religion especially if your attractiveness score is less than 7.0.
Photofeeler
Use Photofeeler. If you don't know what that website is, search it up on your bar. Photofeeler is THE ONLY reliable website to measure your looks. Aim for 20 to 40 votes, which is the standard factor.
EMPATHY-associated pictures are always encouraged. A picture of you next to a gentle pet - a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a guinea pig, a goldfish, or such similar beings - will increase your matches by a vast percentage.
DON'T EVER use any pictures where you are posing near or inside a car or truck, regardless of how nice it looks. JUST DON'T. Unless gold diggers are what you're aiming for, please avoid the car pictures. And ESPECIALLY stay away from a car your parent or boss owns.
For reuse on dating apps
In addition to the entire Photofeeler section written above, make sure that when you are finished, prioritize the one with the highest total score (all photos should have attractiveness scores of no less than 5.0 out of 10, with an absolute minimum "confidence interval" rating of 4.0 out of 10). Contrary to popular belief, attractiveness alone will NOT get you dates. But smartness and trustworthiness combined with attractiveness will earn you multiple dates and even a whole relationship.
DO NOT mention politics or religion especially if your attractiveness score is less than 7.0.
by DeezPeanuts May 19, 2022
by Ballslover42069 December 30, 2023