I sexually identify as a walmart bag

"I sexually identify as a Walmart bag" is a humorous phrase used to describe someone who feels a deep sense of identity and connection with the crumpled, discarded, and often-misunderstood existence of a Walmart bag. It's a tongue-in-cheek way of poking fun at the complexities of modern identity politics and the tendency to label oneself with unusual and unconventional descriptors. In essence, it's a lighthearted joke that playfully mocks the idea of identifying with an inanimate object, while also acknowledging the absurdity and humor in doing so.

- Nice to meet you. May I ask for your pronouns?
- I sexually identify as a walmart bag.
- Uhm, can I just call you they/them?
- I IDENTIFY AS A WALMART BAG. THAT'S REALLY OFFENSIVE TO ME. I'M Walmart/Bag, NOT They/Them!!!!!!!!!!!

by Narmak2 April 23, 2024

Walmart Song

The type of song that would be in a Walmart commercial, often being generic and safe.

You actually like Thunder by Imagine Dragons? That fucking Walmart Song? Really?

by Gregory Egg October 24, 2023

walmart vest

a homoerotic wardrobe staple of Walmart employees. typically accessorized with pins and patches to give shoppers a false sense of approachability. sometimes the back is bedazzled to say “daddy’s little slutbag” in rhinestones, but not always.

person 1: “man, did you see ailee’s walmart vest?”
person 2: “yeah, it’s so y2k thrift store chic!”

by streborarella June 16, 2022

Eefin (Walmart edition)

Literally not the cutest person ever. Anyone who says otherwise is automatically saying no other human has ever existed. I know what you're thinking, and no I did not write this to prove a point. This is officially written by the legend-dairy John Decengre III of New Jersey.

To the person reading this (yes this actually has a purpose),

No need for any further explanation, you're officially ruled cuter by the public, judge, and jury. I rest my case. ;)

-Eefin (Walmart Edition)

by Eefin (Walmart Edition) March 22, 2021

Walmart

Something that's a knockoff

Person one: did you listen to lil darkies new song?

Person 2: yeah the Walmart xxx

by Xxur_badkid November 2, 2020

Walmart meat department

Half-sized penis because your dumbass self shot yourself in the groin

“John will never get a girl with his Walmart meat department.”

by gman91478 November 30, 2018

Walmart brand freedom

When parents are overly strict and say we live in a free country.

Guy1: “Bruh my parents think that communism is bad they haven’t seen themselves!”
Guy2: “Walmart brand freedom be like”

by Ur mom is upstairs August 16, 2021