John Updick

The act of sliding the male genitalia up the rectum of one or more students attempting to write an essay about the american author John Updike

"Hey did you finish the essay?"

"Yeah, but I was getting a John Updick the entire time"

by NiggerFaggot1234 July 12, 2017

John Snow

An old man’s white pubic hair that is overgrown with his penis barely poking out.

The dressing room door was open and I saw that man’s John Snow.

by ForrestBeau June 22, 2024

john snow

A person who literally knows nothing.

-- WTF, don't you even know who is elected last night?
-- Wait, what? I guess I am just being john snow again.

by donaldrump November 15, 2016

Ricky John

When someone jerks off inside of a Porta John in a desperate attempt to bust a nut after an unsuccessful attempt to take a girl home from the bar.

Bill: Hey Hank, what took you so long in the Porta John?

Hank: Oh I had to rub out a Ricky John real quick before I go home. I got blue balled bad tonight.

by giggitygoddamn69 January 23, 2023

John Tobin

A very drip tastic man whos very enthusiastic, He provides god like abilities to life and will enhance you as a person by 10x. But do be aware he is going to go on his 15 (if thats alright)<--(no longer applies)
also the handkerchief is drippy

John Tobin is a very handsome and driptastic fella

by Charles Wilam Shirkling Wizard February 27, 2022

John Tobin

A very drip tastic man whos very enthusiastic, He provides god like abilities to life and will enhance you as a person by 10x. But do be aware he is going to go on his 15 (if thats alright)<--(no longer applies)
also the handkerchief is drippy

John Tobin is a very handsome and driptastic fella

by Charles Wilam Shirkling Wizard February 27, 2022

John Wade

The most handsome man with the most beautiful smile. He will sing songs such as "Hungry Arms". He is a sensitive soul, but his outwardly manly exterior keeps his walls high. He is a kind man, with the most beautiful green eyes (not blue). If you ever meet a John Wade on a corner make sure to shut your eyes if you don't want to fall for him. His singing is pretty terrible, makes a banging vegan cheese sauce and he always pops the toilet seat down like a true gent. He is funny, but not as funny as a small Jo. He is a man of many talents. He gets distracted by shiny things occasionally and takes an age to pick a film. He is very very hard working. If you find a John you should know how lucky you are.

Person 1: Look at that handsome man over there!

Person 2. He must be a John Wade.

by Guitarjo April 30, 2022