Bruce's Dick

THE SMALLEST, TEENIEST, SHORTEST MICROSCOPIC THING THE HUMAN EYE WILL EVER FUCKING SEE IN THIS ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE. HELL, THIS DICK IS SO FUCKING SMALL, MICROSCOPES CAN'T EVEN DETERMINE THAT THIS THING EVEN EXISTS. (How do we know?) WELL, IT SPREADS FUCKING HERPES, AIDS, CANCER, AND HEPATITIS C TO EVERY LIVING CREATURE IT TOUCHES. THAT'S HOW WE KNOW THIS FUCKING CANCER CELL DISEASE EXISTS. FURTHERMORE, YOU MIGHT BE ASKING WHAT WE SHOULD DO TO RID EARTH OF THIS HORRID MONSTER. HERE'S THE FUCKING SOLUTION: CHOP OFF ITS HEAD AND FEED IT TO A BUNCH OF PIGS DURING A SATANIC RITUAL. THEN BURN THEM ALL TO PREVENT THE SPREAD. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET RID OF BRUCE'S DICK. IT IS THE SMALLEST AND MOST DEADLIEST ANIMAL OUT THERE.

- With lots of love, Hailey

Guy 1: Whoa dude, what's that horrible disease you have?

Guy 2: Turns out I got a case of "Bruce's Dick." It's fucking horrible, man.

by Lil Oof Dick July 30, 2018

Hood dick

The dick of someone who either has felonies, no credit, a criminal history, baby mamas galore, or a criminal past as long as my bar tab

Do any of your friends like penis? I am looking for some hood dick.

by Hood Jared December 12, 2017

dick jumper

A girl who dates alot of guys, and when they break up she finds another boy to talk to the next day.

Damnn...she just broke up with her boyfriend and now shes talking to another guy already?!?!?! What a dick jumper!!

by ilovedickjumpers June 4, 2009

urb dick

Urb Dick is an abreviation for "urban dictionary" and is used when not wanting to complete all six syllabyls. it also gives you permission to say 'dick' on a regular basis.

Person A: Hey have you checked the new word of the day?
Person B: Duh, I check it every day on urb dick.

by bamfstat101 March 30, 2010

poop dick

when a male wipes back-to-front after pooping, resulting in poop getting all of their penis and testicles.

carl: “why do they call bob poop dick?”
billy: “bro cus he wipes back to front after he takes a shat so he gets it all over his shaft.”

by TheOrdinaryB October 20, 2018

Dick Around

River City Drumline 2018-2019
To fuck around, usually consists of head breaking and ordering Taco Bell on Grubhub.

Hey, you wanna dick around?
Yeah sure, you want taco bell?
Happy Ending.

by KinkyDrumline March 21, 2019

Glitter dick

When you have a crush on a girl/boy then when you finally start dating her/him, all you want to do is break up.

"Omg did you hear Liam was gonna dump erin"
"Omg ya he's such a glitter dick"

by Julia_penis_glitter January 25, 2017