Hand pay

A hand job where one hand whacks the top of your knob like you’re slapping out dollar bills for a cheap rate hooker

Got a quality hand pay from my bitch last night. Lasted almost fifty bucks.

by Wilkypedia December 1, 2021

faff-handed

The inability to get your hands to do something, whether due tiredness, drink or other reason.

"Come pick your cuppa off the side, seriously, im so faff-handed whilst im waking up, im liable to drop it"

"you faff-handed cockwomble, what did you do that for? go pick it up.."

by Moffyr December 30, 2022

Second-hand Girl

A girl who's having a boyfriend for the second time in her life.

When she has an ex-boyfriend.

You're second-hand girl but I still love you.

by strawberry bonbon October 24, 2023

Crab Arm/Hand

When you’re pushing heavy at the gym and suddenly one arm that you don’t fap with as much starts letting you down so you continue the set with your strong boy hand.

Kershit the dickless: sheit mayne that dude is lifting 4 plates with his one hand.

Cetnar de Nark: yeh bro but his left hand is giving out.
Kershit the dickless: fuck you’re right! Fucking looks like those crabs with one big ass claw and their other looks like some retarted prop from the Halloween store.
Cetnar de Nark: yup definitely a crab arm/hand

by Smoke and Fork Banger’s Club September 13, 2018

Cool Hand Luke

When a person furiously masturbates after having their hands in ice water for exactly 22 seconds.

Bro you down to Cool Hand Luke before the party?

I went a little overboard with the Cool Hand Luke and now my dick is numb.

by Porknbeans201 December 10, 2016

Hand hygiene audits

This thing that hospital admin makes people do sometimes where we “need” to take valuable time out of our work day to narc on people not washing their hands efficiently.

Me writing one if I actually filled them out: “so I stalkerishly followed a nurse into the bathroom and while I was pretending to take a piss I was actually singing happy birthday in my head to see how long she washed her hands for. And I got to that 🎶🎶 “happy birthday dear fuck you” 🎶🎶🎶 but I didn’t quite get to that last “happy birthday to you” verse.

Signed, my hand hygiene audits of April 4th 2023

by Sacredfart April 4, 2023

blizzard hands

a person who is unable to perform simple work-related tasks. They perform their job as well as they would if they had two DQ Blizzards stuck to their hands. a lazy, unreliable employee.

Man, Sally didn't sign off on the tasks she completed. What a blizzard hands!

Dang it, Henry couldn't even do his assigned work today. That guy is a real blizzard hands.

by TBell Bonus April 17, 2015