The Appalachian standard

Ap·pa·la·chian (noun)
\ˌa-pə-ˈlā-ch(ē-)ən, -ˈla-, -sh(ē-)ən\
a native or resident of the Appalachian mountain area

The Appalachian Standard is a sexual position in which a male homosapien has a female in the standard missionary position while having her large breast in the headlock.

As he thrusted his purple headed warrior into her quirvering mound of love pudding; he carefully positioned himself to conquer her large breast in the The Appalachian standard sexual position.

by JayT.P a.k.a frognuts November 25, 2011

Soda Standards

A ranking set list, in which guys only date 7+ rated 1-10 girls. This refers to the soda brand 7 UP.

Naw man, i have Soda standards, she's a six

by BlainerJ April 28, 2011

Standard Grandad

A person who likes their guitars (and everyone else's for that matter) tuned to standard E (Low to high E A D g b e). These people, who despite the name may be of any age, dislike the practice of tuning a guitar or bass to alternate tunings such as dropped D (D A D g b e) and show great disdain for those who do because...

Well, who knows.

These people could be the biggest Thin Lizzy fans in the world but wouldn't tune down just a half-step to E flat to play one of their songs correctly. They will often moan on about how it's not necessary to tune a guitar out of E but, when prompted for a reason why, they will just mutter, trail off and then be quiet again.

Standard Grandad: Oh, I see you're a Led Zeppelin fan, so am I! Favourite band since I saw em in '72, got all the LPs! how's about we jam on Moby Dick?

Drummer: Sure thing. But, uh, you'll have to tune your guitar to drop D, that's how Jimmy Page played it.

Standard Grandad: ...Forget it, I can't stand Led Zeppelin, bloody fiddling about with tunings *throws guitar in trash*

by LiftFart November 15, 2011

The Chair Standard

The amount of time it takes for gently used office chairs to be spoken for after an email is sent to accounting office staff announcing the chairs are available for exchange. Approximately 15 minutes per dozen chairs. Krispy Kreme donut standard is 1 hour per dozen.

The Krispy Kreme donuts don't meet the Chair standard.

by Athos2 November 10, 2021

Double standard

A different standard for one person or group than another.

The double standard put a lot of red tape around what guys could and couldn't do to females, but little to no red tape around what females could and coudln't do to guys.

by The Original Agahnim November 2, 2021

Unrealistic beauty standards

Wow my modren met... Only one of those is unrealistic.

Hym "So, I took a peak at this article by 'my modern met' and it's called 'A.I. generates the perfect people and something something unrealistic beauty standards,' right? And the pictures they show is 1. A regular looking attractive Hispanic woman (Who is as a matter of fact NOT more attractive than Salma Hayek) and 2. The most shredded guy that could ever possibly exist. 0% body fat. So much muscle that you couldn't actually fit thay much muscle on a man with out him being larger. Obviously had a 12 pack. More shredded than a comic book character. Even the male fantasy of fitness pales in comparison to the A.I. generated man. I mean, you can't see the fat bulge in his artificially generated trousers but you know it's there. So, according to A.I. Salma Hayek is beyond perfect and the perfect man is a 9 foot tall Arnold Schwarzenegger who got hit with a shrink ray. You can't have that much muscle and be that small but BOTH of those are somehow unrealistic. It's unrealistic for a woman to be less attractive than Salma Hayek. It's wild. Look it up."

by Hym Iam May 28, 2023