Skip to main content

Couch promoter

Someone who’s never worked on an event in their life but sits on the keyboard, “couch” or at dinners and gives unsolicited advice. They can be recognized because sentences usually start with the statement : YOU SHOULD
Jaden: You know what “you should” do to make your event better
Promoter: yeh
Jaden: Thriller at the zombie walk

Promoter: you should start working on your choreography for next year. Stop being a couch promoter.

Carol: You know what “you should” do to make your event better
Promoter: yeh
Carol: I don’t like the music you picked. You should have house music inventor David Guetta and our local DJs make it danceable.

Promoter: we put out a call to musicians Carol if they wanted to they could have played or you could have suggested it too!
Carol: I don’t want to be a part of all that, I just want to have fun.

Promoter: thanks for being a couch promoter carol.
by Feralart October 31, 2018
mugGet the Couch promoter mug.

Polish Couch

It’s when you & your BFF kneel on any given couch, buck nekkit, facing aft towards the same direction; with each participant having their head laying down & rear up, while having a third miscellaneous person tongue each bung, taking turns in between sets.
Let me get this straight! A polish couch is when you & your buddy are face down- ass up, but you only get one dedicated tongue?” - Dale M. Pace
by Fluffy McGillicuddy December 28, 2018
mugGet the Polish Couch mug.

Couch stranded

You get so high you can't get off the cough or jus can't function
by Ebisedo June 28, 2018
mugGet the Couch stranded mug.

couch shaman

Person who shows up and gets in cool with people for sounding very wise. He never has any money because he's eschewed all concepts of ownership or slavery to materialism. He will sleep on your couch for as long as you let him, eat your food, drink your booze, bum cigarettes off of everyone, smoke your weed, and probably try to fuck you or your partner, if you're not around, depending on what he's into. In return for all of these things, he will grace you with the endless font of wisdom that pours from his mouth when he's stoned/well-fed/drunk/sexually sated.
Man, I know that couch shaman sounds like a cool guy, but he ate all my chips while I was at work and walked in "accidentally" on my girl in the shower; he's gotta GO.
by Accedendum June 4, 2018
mugGet the couch shaman mug.

couch shopping

When you are homeless, and you are calling anyone and everyone you know hoping they will let you sleep at there house, on the couch.
Dennis, a homeless-jobless old man is couch shopping - trying to find someone/anyone who will let him crash at their place and sleep on the couch.
by BBDinOC April 6, 2017
mugGet the couch shopping mug.

fast couch

The kitchen bench is turning into a bit of a fast couch.
I lost my virginity on a fast couch.
Doug's whole room is a fast couch.
by fundlebubble November 12, 2017
mugGet the fast couch mug.

Couch crevice

A: The tiny section of the couch available on a regular basis because someone less deserving with much more free time on their hands has spread their unshowered gelatinous ass meat and back rolls and accompanying snacks, ashtray, Blaney, marijuana rolling tray, one dirty sock food stamp card, book they're not reading, pillow they took out of your room that now smells like their armpit, open highlighter, loose change, snot filled napkin, cell phone and rapid charger with cord that they swear they bought, and list of "Things To Do," all of which when shoved over toward the aromatic eyesore yields a sliver section on the furniture that you paid for available to you called a Couch Crevice. There is another version of Couch Crevice which ....
B: describes the friendly homeless meth-whores randomly deposited in the living room by roommates that have already enjoyed their company and were thoughtful enough to leave them behind to entertain others and steal things.
A; "Dude, suck in some of your funk and sweep off enough Doritos so I can squeeze my ass cheeks into a Couch Crevice and watch this educational program with you."

B: "Dude, who's the new Couch Crevice and when do I get to dip into Her? She's kinda hot for missing so many teeth."
by Mikey Mutha Fuckn Mosier March 16, 2017
mugGet the Couch crevice mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email