Goldilocks

You put your dick in a girl's butt but it's too tight
You put you dick in a girls vagina but it's too loose
So, you put your dick in her mouth and it's JUST RIGHT

I hooked up with Pamela once. It was a Goldilocks experience...the first two holes just weren't working

by alittlehart May 17, 2007

goldilocks zone

a place in space that is neither too hot nor too cold, that has enough surface liquid water and that is therefore suitable for life.

Our Earth is a goldilocks zone.

by uttam maharjan October 3, 2010

Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em

A state of personality where one is paradoxically considered an asshole, but is still considered endearing and likable.

"It's great to be an asshole, but you don't want to be a total asshole. There's a balance that must be struck. Assholes who are total assholes suffer too much backlash for their nature and are generally considered insufferable by all. Thus, you must learn to follow proper asshole decorum and fall under the Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em. You have accomplished this when people say things about you like 'he's funny, but he's an asshole', or 'I like Dave, but he's kind of an asshole.' That's the Goldilocks zone. You want people to compliment you, or express fondness for you, but then immediately feel the need to point out that you're an asshole."
-- TJ "The Amazing Atheist" Kirk, "10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum"

by The Logical Fallacy February 27, 2019

Goldilocks

As a woman, only one cock will fit her vag perfectly. She will search for years to find that cock. A Goldilocks cock is one that is not too big, and not too small, but just right.

Ben’s cock was the perfect fit. Not too big and not too small. I’ve found my Goldilocks cock!

by djdelanez September 13, 2018

goldilocks (v), goldilocksing

To try out multiple items before choosing one; different from "window-shopping" in that one must actually use/try the items in question before making a choice.

I needed a new desk, so I spent the day goldilocksing in furniture stores until I found the perfect one.

by t.s.a. September 10, 2005

Moldilocks

A white person with "dreadlocks"
(Read: long mattes of unwashed hair, often with moldy at the center, hence the name)

"Hey, get a look at Moldilocks over there."
'Damn, that's nasty, I think I can smell her hair from here.'

by Lord_Pickle_Chips September 6, 2018

coldilocks

When it's so dang cold your johnson freezes off.

Guy 1: Holmes, it is gettin' COLDILOCKS out here, dawg!
Guy 2: Fo' shizzle, G. Mah coldicock is gettin' COLDILOCKS.

by Joanna and Sami January 7, 2009