Sloppy Joe from my Girlfriend

When your girlfriend is giving you a golden shower and inadvertently defecates on you.

What started out as a lot of fun turned into a sloppy Joe from my girlfriend.

by All Bets Hedged January 12, 2021

MY GIRLFRIEND

You have no idea how hard you hit me—emotionally, not physically… except when your pink hair blinds me in the sun, you adorable neon menace.
Your hair literally looks like cotton candy and chaos had a baby, and honestly? I’d still follow you anywhere like a lovesick idiot.

And don’t even get me started on your belly.
Every time I hug you and it squishes against me, my brain just goes,
‘Ah yes. Safety. Warmth. Premium-grade girlfriend softness.’
It’s like holding a tiny, beautiful, slightly-stabby-with-love marshmallow.

You’re this perfect mix of soft and strong, sweet and spicy, cute and holy shit how did I get this lucky?
You make me laugh, you make me melt, and you make my heart beats rapidly just like yours does while walking up a flight of stairs
I fucking love you—your glow, your chaos, your softness, your jokes, your pink hair that probably has its own personality.
You’re my favourite human disaster and my favourite comfort all at once

MADDIE- “MY GIRLFRIEND is really gorgeous”.
MADDIE-“Bro did you just look at MY GIRLFRIEND” (then MADDIE slide tackles their white scrappy little dog)
NIAMH”can I have back scratches pwease”. 👉👈
Maddie- “ Ofcourse I CAN”.
Niamh- “I’m happy you’re MY GIRLFRIEND “.

by Maddiethestinker November 29, 2025

my girlfriend hates me

When you're girlfriend won't tell you the surprise she has for you on your one year anniversary.

Wow, my girlfriend hates me.

by 1173666 July 13, 2017

speaking to my girlfriend

when you should be speaking to your girlfriend but your off playing cod with your idiot mates
another way of being a DICK

His mates - dude lets play cod!
boyfriend - i should be speaking to my girlfriend but sure!
His mates - fuck her man, bros before hoes
boyfriend - ehhhh ken

by Broooogaan November 29, 2010

my ex girlfriend

she broke my heart

me: my ex girlfriend broke my heart
bro: damn thats wild homie

by guydude111 December 16, 2023

My girlfriend

My girlfriend is the prettiest girl alive. Everyone's jealous of me and her, and no one can beat her. She makes everyone happy my especially me and when she comes in ur life, it's like she's what's keeping it alive. I never thought I'd get my girlfriend, nor did I ever think I deserve her, but my girlfriend always reminds me that I'm great and awesome.
My girlfriend's really cute.

There's no one more perfect than my girlfriend.

by sadmad February 25, 2023

I love my girlfriend

For when you love your girlfriend so much, love for my girlfriend, my beloved, sweetpie I love you

"Hey I love my girlfriend"

by XXx_Ilovemygirlfriend_xXX January 8, 2025