Spaff Gamble

Deciding on whether or not to indulge in the act of masturbation in the knowledge of limited time before the return of an obstructing party. i.e a girlfriend who has gone to the shops for 10 minutes.

I feel like some relief, but Jane's only gone out for 10 minutes. Should I or shouldn't I? This is a bit of a spaff gamble.

by Nested Elevator November 7, 2017

spaff

A term for masturbation made popular by E4 comedy 'The Inbetweeners.'

(Reading a self-penned valentine's card) "Jay, you massive stud, please spaff on my tits. From your valentine's bitch. PS. And on my face."

by Choadalay-dee-heeee January 9, 2013

spaff rag

piece of cloth used to wipe up excess semen.

'If I wake up one more time with a spaff rag stuck to my face there'll be trouble!'

by sinemenacheck February 18, 2005

spaffed

Boris Johnson defines spaffed as 'the spending of public money on non-recent child abuse investigations'.

“You know, £60m I saw was being spaffed up a wall on some investigation into historic child abuse and all this kind of thing. What on earth is that going to do to protect the public now?”

by This Is Not Rob March 13, 2019

Spaff Wrangling

Ensuring a cowboy's ten-gallon hat is full to the brim with manky-man-splash.

I got caught spaff wrangling, but I only got the electric chair.

by Mr WithersSpakeThrust May 27, 2009

spaffable boobage

adj., a cracking set of breasts upon which one would gladly spaff, the receivance of a pearl necklace

"See that girl over there? with the spaffable boobage?" (Variants; "I'd like to spaff on her boobage, good and proper."

by Gareth Ackerman September 16, 2006

The Guvnor Spaff

When a bloke notably from the Swansea area, ejaculates over a girls tits, giving them a well good spraying.

Did you hear about The Guvnor Spaff, he sprayed her tits with his juice.

by Curry club January 24, 2021