manstruating

(not to be confused under any circumstances with menstruating, therefore, it's spelled with an a after the m, and not an e): very offensive, for men to be incessantly quetching and complaining about this and that, and pentoute not behaving like a typical pragmatic rational male.

advice for men who hate their boss: stop manstruating about how you hate your boss and don't make enough money, read John Gray's Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and then behave like a rational, pragmatic male by changing jobs.

by Sexydimma October 17, 2013

preventative masturbation

VERB. Masturbating so as to prevent wet dreams and/or untimely hard ons.

Dude, I can't believe you had a wet dream last night! You really should start using preventative masturbation.

by batman1234567654321 April 5, 2010

Masturbation

Masturbation is the act of fingering yourself until you cum

Harley wanted to masturbate so she got under the covers and pulled her trousers down, licked her fingers and started tapping the area round her clit. After 10 seconds of that, she started lightly running circles round her clit, gradually getting faster and faster until she was flicking it back and forth, shivering with pleasure. She could feel the sticky cum on her fingers and closed her eyes tight, imagining her crush doing this to her, she started moaning quietly, getting louder and louder until she had an orgasm. OHHHHHHHHHHH she screamed, shaking and dripping wet. Her legs stiffened and she felt so good she was struggling to breathe. She stopped and panted for 20 seconds, her fingers still on her dripping wet clit.

After, she stood up, shaking, her pussy throbbing. She took all her clothes off, put on some arousing music and got back under the quilt. She stroked her huge breasts, squeezing her tits. She started making her way down, until she reached her pussy again, this time leaving the clit to throb and shoved her middle finger down her hole, reaching her g-spot she’s teamed with pleasure AHHHHHHHHH she had another orgasm, thrusting her finger in and out faster faster imagining it was a big dick. She grabbed her thigh with her other hand and then with the other, pulling her finger out, dripping with cum she lay there, panting and shaking and went to sleep, naked.

She thought it was the best masturbation ever

by Bisexual idiot May 15, 2022

guided masturbation

To have someone tell you what to do when you’re touching yourself. They control your movements and direct you on what exactly to do in order to cum.

Jerry and I were having phone sex and we decided to do guided masturbation on me.

by ribbit January 28, 2019

Masturbation Ninja

One who can masturbate/masturbates everywhere they have gone/are without fear of being caught, with any object, without being seen, heard, or others having suspicion of the action of masturbation, any where, any time, and any place.

Student #1: Hey man, I whacked off in biology today.
Student #2: HOLY HELL! Did you get caught?
Student #1: Hell no I didn't, I am a freaking Masturbation Ninja.
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Guy #1: I jizzed all over my friends moms bra last night while he was in the same room.
Guy #2: What!? He didn't see you?
Guy #1: Shit no, he was sleeping.
Guy #2: Good thing you're a Masturbation Ninja.
Guy #1: Damn right.

by gregmastersensai November 20, 2009

Masturbationist

One who masturbates to a professional degree and does so to a professional calibur.

That guy is so good at jerkin' his wang, he's a masturbationist.

by Jonathan Merkel November 24, 2004

literary masturbation

When someone quotes him or herself.

Yesterday, Brian put his own, apparently funny quote, on his AIM profile. There should be some decency law against literary masturbation like that.

by ricebagg July 28, 2004