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Cock harness

A cock harness is a penile sex toy designed to be worn around the penis and scrotum. Its function is similar to that of a cock ring. These devices are often associated with BDSM activities. The Gates of Hell is a male chastity device made up of multiple cock rings that can be used for CBT. Kali's Teeth is a metal bracelet with interior spikes that closes around the penis and can be used for preventing or punishing erections.
A cock harness, which has a function similar to a cock ring, is a penile sex toy designed to be worn around the penis and scrotum.
by 1234567890abcdefghij June 30, 2020
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The harness

Something big dick Jaxson wears on a daily basis that shows off his super penis
Omg I can’t wait to see Jaxson in The harness
by NoCappa November 21, 2021
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trotting harness

White trash girl (or any girl) wearing her best come and get me outfit. A woman all dressed up looking draw attention.
Uh oh Eddy must have pissed off Peggy again. She’s got her trotting harness on looking to get laid.
by Bucee the dog December 31, 2022
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Hell in Harness

Quite often with Fucking in front of it Hell in Harness means: disbelief at an act or phrase
Hell in Harness you ate the whole thing!
Fucking Hell in Harness, why would she say that!?
by Z-Star August 21, 2006
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Captain Jack Harkness

A character in the popular BBC series of Doctor Who and the spin off Torchwood. Played by John Barrowman, MBE. Captain Jack first appeared in the episode " The Empty Child" . Unfortunately Jack dies in his travels with the Doctor but is reserected by Rose when she absorbs the time vortex , it is later discovered that he is immortal. In the Future Jack is knowen as the face of Boe. Jack is the first non-heterosexual character in Doctor Who. A flirt Jack has often been referred to as a "walking innuendo".
Jack: Captain Jack Harkness. And who are you?
Martha: Martha Jones.
Jack: Nice to meet you Martha Jones.
The Doctor: Oh don't start!
Jack: I was only saying hello.
Martha: I don't mind.
Jack: Doctor.
The Doctor: Captain.
Jack: Good to see you.
The Doctor: And you. Same as ever. Although. Have you had work done?
Jack: You can talk.
by TheNerp December 20, 2014
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Mohs Scale of Internet Hardness

Based off of Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness, this scale is a measurement of how dark one's World Wide Web content can get without being mentally perturbed. It is typically described as a 1-to-10 scale with a single example from each level.

1. Google - What the fuck are you, Amish?

2. Youtube - Yawn.

3. Youporn - You've experienced a taste of the dark side of the Internet, but there's still a long ways to fall.

4. /b/ - The level where most Internet Veterans find themselves comfortable. Yeah, something funny here, something disgusting there, but you've seen it all before.

5. Goatse - You're a grizzled vet. As for the previous tiers, you might've been disgusted...when you were ten.

6. 2girls1cup - As the masses comment about how terrible this is, you simply scratch your head, and wonder what the big deal is.

7. Adultfanfiction.net - I'm starting to worry about you, man. I mean, you didn't flinch at all at the three paragraph description of how the once-transparent lube became chocolate as Adam and Chris simultaneously forced their penises down Jake's virgin asshole? You're either really brave, or really crazy.

8. Beastality - Just...stay away from me. Please.

9. Pain Olympics - Alternatively known as the John McCain tier, for not even years as a POW may prepare you for this level.

10. 3guys1hammer - Get a gun, rest the barrel in your oral cavity, and pull the trigger. You should survive the shot, for no mortal could survive this level.
Individuals as described by the Mohs Scale of Internet Hardness:

Your Grandparents - 1

Your Dad - 2.5

Newfag - 4

Oldfag - 5

Auschwitz Survivor - 8

Infant Rapist - 9

The Antichrist - 10
by World Wide Web Guide January 6, 2013
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harkness test

The test (which was first coined on tumblr) that monster-fuckers take when determining if they can fuck the fictional creature in questions or not. To be fuckable, the creature must:
1. Have human intelligence (or “greater”)
2. Talk or otherwise communicate with language*
3. Be of sexual maturity for its species.

If you answered yes to all of these questions, you may fuck the creature. If you answered no to any of them, you probably don’t wanna fuck it out of the possibility of beastiality or pedophilia.

*Body language is a dangerous road. Err on the side of caution.
Tumblr user: man i wanna fuck the Loch Ness monster so bad.

Reasonable person: woah man be careful. it doesn’t pass the harkness test.
by imsorrymom July 20, 2019
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