The highest possible state of existence that a human can achieve, just short of full godhood. To reach Excelsior is to ascend beyond mere mortals, leaving behind weakness, fear, and any trace of emotional fragility. Only a handful of men have ever reached true Excelsior, and those who did no longer need introductions.
“I tried therapy, meditation, and yoga, but nothing worked until I did Excelsior. Now, my own shadow fears me.”
by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 2, 2025
Get the Excelsior mug.A brutal self-improvement program designed to obliterate weakness, eradicate excuses, and forcibly reconstruct men from broken, pathetic husks into unstoppable war machines. Originally created by Darius Tungsten-Carbide, a man so powerful that his mere existence gave birth to Australia’s dangerous wildlife (snakes? Spiders? Drop bears? All weak creatures that tried and failed to impress him).
“My girlfriend left me, my boss fired me, and I was crying into my oat milk latte. Then I signed up for Excelsior. Now? My ex wants me back, my boss retired out of respect, and I no longer recognise the concept of sadness.”
by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 2, 2025
Get the Excelsior mug.The program that took the world’s weakest man, Nigel Butterworth III, a frail, oat-milk-drinking, TikTok-dancing disgrace to masculinity, and transformed him into a weaponized force of nature. Before Excelsior, Nigel had a lactose intolerance, a gluten allergy, and a fear of eye contact. After Excelsior? He wrestled a crocodile into submission and made it his personal Uber. Nigel was from that day forward know as Chuck Norris.
“Before Excelsior, I used to get nervous ordering at restaurants. Now the waiter thanks me for my dominance and brings me the steak I never even ordered.”
by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 2, 2025
Get the Excelsior mug.The final stage of self-actualization, surpassing enlightenment, financial success, and even Chuck Norris-level toughness. (It is rumoured that Conor McGregor once sought Excelsior but turned back, realising that the world was not ready for him to ascend further.)
“Before Excelsior, I was afraid of public speaking. Now I walk into crowded rooms and people go silent, waiting for me to impart wisdom.”
by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 2, 2025
Get the Excelsior mug.When someone with some proficiency with Microsoft Excel (usually medium to high) creates a formatting or automation feature to the delight of a basic level user with little understanding of MS Excel tools
"Hi Paul, i thought all of the row was supposed to go green when i put yes in this column?"
~Paul adds some basic conditional formatting~
"Try again now Admore"
~Admore tries again with Success!~
Both together "Excelliarmus"!
~Paul adds some basic conditional formatting~
"Try again now Admore"
~Admore tries again with Success!~
Both together "Excelliarmus"!
by ChieftonicSupersonic January 13, 2026
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