John Flansburgh

A John Flansburgh is a sexual act in which you fuck a woman doggy style and then charge her $650 for the mediocre act.

Person 1: "I gave your wife a John Flansburgh in the bed last night."

Person 2: "A John Flansburgh? Are you out of your goddamn mind? It's a sexual act, and a fucking disgusting one."

by cockwafer May 14, 2024

John McCann Roll

This is the act rolling into a strip club for style in order to get the attention of not only the stripper but the other patrons in the fine establishment.

Guy 1: “Yo, what that chubby kid doin”
Guy 2: “He doin the John McCann Roll into that titty bar”

by GrannyLicker69BangingTime June 08, 2022

John Gallagher III

He is the thiccest man in existence the sound of his asscheeks clapping is louder than Thor smacking the fuck out of a mountain if i was gay id tap that ass we do not stop until nightfall

Bro is that a nuclear bomb or is that just John Gallagher III's asscheeks

by IsBadAtMath November 07, 2023

Sussy John

Sussy John is a fictional character I made up, he’s also a tattoo on my knee cap

“Vote sussy John”

by Johnballs69696969696969 March 05, 2022

Johnned

To come across a catastrophic fuck up of epic proportions

Why is the pallet no longer secure in the racking? Because it has been Johnned

by Dwrhodes85 March 31, 2022

Johnned

To be so extremely faded to the point where you are Johnned

Kyle was so Johnned last night after hitting that crack joint

by JackerCrack March 11, 2023

Johnned

The Johnned (verb) – When someone hypes up an event for weeks, swearing they’ll be there, only to ghost completely on the day of, ignoring all calls, texts, and attempts to reach them. No explanation, no warning—just pure, unfiltered disappearance.

Origins:
Named after John, the undisputed king of commitment without follow-through.

Example:
“Damn, I just got Johnned again—he was all in for our ski trip, and now he’s MIA.”

Alternate Usage:
“I swear he said he was coming… bro straight-up Johnned us.”

by TheGovernor77 March 01, 2025