Cunt
A sterling Anglo- Saxon word representing but not actually denoting the female genitalia or pudenda. Rather, it pertains to a certain human being, male or female, of your acquaintance, for whom, by their regular and peculiar transgressions against your own perceived notions of humanity and decency, leads one to refer to them as a 'Cunt'. That being said, every birthday, I am assailed with the familiar refrain 'Happy Birthday, you terrible cunt', as of course I am exempt from the above definition, which simply refers to 'Cunt', cf Jeremy Clarkson if you're British, or American, Colonel Tom Parker (if you're an Elvis fan). I am, it seems, just a cunt, not like a real fucking copper bottomed, ocean going cunt of the first order like Clarkson. AA Gill is also a simple 'Cunt' but not a benighted cunt, as he's mates with Joan Collins but I took issue with him slighting the Welsh , cf 'Little Trolls'. However, he used to be an alkie and dyslexic to boot (forgiveness there, I'm not Californian -raisin diet, raisin sized brain and all that), so on balance, people, he is a mere 'Cunt', as am I, except on those special occasions when annually,it seems I am elevated to being a terrible cunt and receive a terrible, semi jocular birthday card, that has without a shadow of a doubt been written by some cunt somewhere, probably in China, or New York, which is a place so full of cunts that they don't know what one is anymore.
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