Church Police

People you know from church, but are not really friends with outside of church. They notice you at Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon after you skipped church that day and approach you to announce that they missed you in church, expecting either a doctor's note or an explanation as to where you were.

Wife: "Shoot! I ran into the Church Police while I was at Wal-Mart."
Husband: "Who was it?"
Wife: "Betty and George."
Husband: "Did they say anything?"
Wife: "Yeah. 'We missed you today at church.'"
Husband: "What'd you say?"
Wife: "One of the kids was sick."

by Turkey Trot March 14, 2011

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Get the Church Policemug.

church (adjective)

The act of being very prude. (usually for religious reasons)

1. I tried to get it in with that girl last night
2. what happened?
1. she church (adjective) AF
2. i knew that was a purity ring

by BPteamGORRILLA August 20, 2012

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Get the church (adjective)mug.

church on the move

If a cuz yells church on the move you gotta drop every thing and go.

I saw one of my ex's while in the club with my homies and yelled church on the move

from snoop's fatherhood

by Karlea January 13, 2008

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Get the church on the movemug.

Church Gas

Grouchy, church-going grandmas will often allow hot, putrid methane gas to slowly seep from their wrecked buttholes in hopes that everyone sitting around them will catch a good whiff. Church gas is vindictive, purposeful and is used to get back at the congregation for one reason, or another.

1) Yo, what up Dre?... Damn, is Grandma up in this hizzy? Smells like massive church gas 'round here!

2) Pastor Dan punished me by requiring me to wipe down all the church pews because a grandma church gassed during his sermon.

by tbizzy2 August 21, 2019

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