A gathering of two peoples families and friends to mourn the loss of their individual freedom, by getting ancestor shaming levels of wankered and fingering their cousin in a dark corner. With cake.
I’ve been invited to Dave’s wedding wake this weekend, but I probably won’t go because I fingered my cousin at the last one.
by Seshanie November 10, 2025
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by You:909 January 13, 2023
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A wedding where the bride, groom, and most of their immediate family have all had a collective glow-up thanks to Ozempic. Everyone’s snatched, cheekbones are sharp enough to slice cake (if there were any), and the only thing thinner than the guest list is the menu. Instead of a buffet, expect a single crudité platter and one shrimp doing laps around a martini glass. No one eats, no one blinks, but damn, the photos are fire.
A wedding where the bride, groom, and most of their immediate family have all had a collective glow-up thanks to Ozempic. Everyone’s snatched, cheekbones are sharp enough to slice cake (if there were any), and the only thing thinner than the guest list is the menu. Instead of a buffet, expect a single crudité platter and one shrimp doing laps around a martini glass. No one eats, no one blinks, but damn, the photos are fire.
Ava: “Was Emily’s wedding fun?”
Jordan: “Total Ozempic Wedding. Everyone looked hot, but I left starving and pretty sure the cake was imaginary.”
Jordan: “Total Ozempic Wedding. Everyone looked hot, but I left starving and pretty sure the cake was imaginary.”
by Hungryguest March 29, 2025
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Get the Someone Might Have To Die Holding On To The Wedding Word mug.it has its pros and cons. Its about 40% of a fun dance . Its mostly always your family members . People tend to ruin all your fun in it though
A wedding is an event that stopped being fun because you coudnt keep up a skinny bet with god or weight.
by temple girl April 25, 2025
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