Poll Turtle

An oddity, a rarity, something that should not happen, unexplained and unfortunate events, but essentially just a turtle sitting on a poll. Similar to Barack Obama.

One day a farmer was walking his fence. He came upon a poll turtle sitting atop one of one the fence polls. The farmer was puzzled. How did this turtle get atop of this fence? So the farmer walked up to the turtle and said "what are you doing here and who the fuck put you here?"

by RattleMeSnake March 24, 2009

turtled

To have your backpack turned inside out and all your books placed inside it, so you can no longer wear it but must carry it around.

Dude, Mike turtled Ian's bag when he went to the bathroom.

by skibum May 16, 2005

Horny Turtle Porn

Porn that is so slow its like a turtle making love with another but still makes you horny as babyeee

"Man"- Jesus christ almighty this is Horny Turtle porn!

"Woman"- I agree i think we should do it in slow motion dear

"Man"- Same Babe

"Woman"- Horny turtle porn here i come!

"Man"- Yeeee haaa

by Heather Wilson February 22, 2007

turtle spinach

when you take a dump and the crap is very green and looks earthy and murky

i took a dump and it looked like turtle spinach

by Major JMC July 5, 2006

turtle shells

Psilocybe tyrannus, or commonly referred to as turtle shells, is a fairly new discovered psychadelic drug that dramatically increases a person's uptake of dopamine when consumed. Not only that, but it also contains high amounts of dopamine. The drug is actually a rare fungus that has nothing to do with a turtle. The fungus comes from several island countries such as Madagascar and the phillipines, and needs to be grown in intense sunglight. Even after it is full grown, the dealer must heat the fungus at high temperatures to make it produce pyschadelic effects. The result of this makes it almost leathery, and people say it looks like a turtle shell hence the name. Other street names include the tyrant, sithlord, dooku, and darth turtle. The trips of this drug have been compared to that of acid and ectasy but even stronger. Although there is no physical addiction to this drug, long term effects can be devastating to one's brain cell count and create a future of mental illness.

Yo TJ wanna pick up an ounce of turtle shells and play with my easy bake oven?

by theinformer69 August 12, 2006

turtle

The art of taking a backpack, removing all items from the inside, turning it inside out, placing the items back in, along with the straps, and then closing it. The final result closely resembles a turtle shell. The key to this act is timing, and when the person who has been turtled later comes across his/her bag, the look on his/her face will tell you that you have succeeded. This act can be performed purely for the sake of entertainment, or as an act of revenge.

Wow he left his backpack in the bathroom, he definitely deserves to be turtled.

by down with browntown October 18, 2010

turtle poke

When you poop peeks out of your asshole.

I got a gnarly turtle poke when I grunted.

by Dan August 10, 2003