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gloved-up goo-gone handjob

When the gloves need to come _on_, and things get dirty, it's no time for half measures. Best to bring out the big guns right off, get them thick 7mil gloves on, an anointal squirt of goo-gone in nitrile-gloved hand, we then begin the "cleaning" process, vigorously stroking back and forth over the length, agitating with pumice grit for added friction, a passionate fervor, and potent concoction of solvents, we grip firmly and to ensure the _entire_ length is coated, covered, and cared for properly. ;)

Always best to go full-bore, no half-assin! Now get them gloves on...
God, look at the gunk on that motherfucker, that poor thing needs some TLC and a good gloved-up goo-gone handjob, and maybe a miracle...
by Viriledande March 9, 2026
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Reach Around Handjob

A reach around handjob is a wonderful and very skillful art only used by the best mommies and parentless women (or the pretty hot nerd girls too) and how it works is, your sitting on your hot ass mommy’s lap and she is reaching from behind you and professionally edging, stroking or milking your meat rod and if she’s a real mommy then she will whisper sweet nothings in your war while your shooting ropes or while pumping your beef jerky (and dirty sweet nothings work as well and much better) and the goal is for you to cum EVERYWHERE while feeling some motherly love and warmth and usually the mommy has the choice to continue for hours even if your pleading or whimpering for mercy (not like you will have the strength to resist or anything)
Max: Dude, you look like you have been drained or something
Terry: Y-Yea man, my momm- I mean gf gave me a reach around handjob and I thought she was gonna kill me!
Max: Damn dude that sounds fucking crazy…. Should I ask my gf for that too?
Terry: Yes, absolutely and make sure she edges you first
by H0110WK1NG December 29, 2025
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Reach Around Handjob

A reach around handjob is a wonderful and very skillful art only used by the best mommies and parentless women (or the pretty hot nerd girls too) and how it works is, your sitting on your hot ass mommy’s lap and she is reaching from behind you and professionally edging, stroking or milking your meat rod and if she’s a real mommy then she will whisper sweet nothings in your war while your shooting ropes or while pumping your beef jerky (and dirty sweet nothings work as well and much better) and the goal is for you to cum EVERYWHERE while feeling some motherly love and warmth and usually the mommy has the choice to continue for hours even if your pleading or whimpering for mercy (not like you will have the strength to resist or anything)
Max: Dude, you look like you have been drained or something
Terry: Y-Yea man, my momm- I mean gf gave me a reach around handjob and I thought she was gonna kill me!
Max: Damn dude that sounds fucking crazy…. Should I ask my gf for that too?
Terry: Yes, absolutely
by H0110WK1NG December 29, 2025
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Steve Handjobs

Famous member of Trash Taste Podcast. Winner of the Trash Tastes best nickname award.
by Adrilian June 2, 2021
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Awkward Hand Job

When a male convinces a male or female friend to give him a hand job. It is an emotionless act, and is purely a mechanical action. The friend is guilted into performing the act, usually being unenthusiastic and employing sloppy technique. As neither party is interested, the receiver usually finds it difficult to maintain an erection, and climax is rarely achieved.

Neither party benefits from this transaction, and it is usually considered the low point of any friendship. This uncomfortable incident usually leads to a brief hiatus in the friendship while both parties come to terms with their awkward feelings of guilt/shame.

An awkward hand job may be used a form of currency or bartering system for minor favors or small amounts of money.

Used in conversation as "AHJ".
Example (Awkward Hand Job):

Person 1: I can pay you back that money I owe you next friday!

Person 2: It's fine, just give me an AHJ and we'll call it quits.

Person 1: ... fine... :-/
by kevseany August 4, 2012
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handlobraes

a mix of "handles" and "cobra" originated from a forum user typing "my car handles better than a cobra" and instead skipping over and getting "my car handlobraes better than a c"
HA HA I'm Handlobreaseing!!!!!1
by susan July 6, 2003
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banjo handjo

It's like a regular handjob, except from your 1st cousin
I got a banjo handjo during my family reunion / Trump rally in Alabama last month
by Masterb8r November 15, 2016
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