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beat your bludgers

1. To masturbate (males only).
2. What you do in order to catch the snitch.

In Quidditch (of the Harry Potter fame), the "bludgers" are two 10-inch iron balls which are enchanted to attack the living thing closest to it. The job of the beaters is to take a magically-reinforced bat and whack the bludgers as far away from their team as possible (so it would recognize an opponent as being closest and go after them). Over time, the blatant implied innuendo became commonplace slang, and the Quidditch act of whacking two oversized balls with a "magically-reinforced bat" named "beating the bludgers" was applied elsewhere.
The Ravenclaw Seeker beats his bludgers many times a day, hoping to catch the snitch.
by The Ravenclaw Seeker June 11, 2004
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and bobs your uncle

Well, its used to say "And there you go. That simple"

I have no idea where it come from.
by skenmy August 23, 2004
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Hold Your Tongue

1) Ridiculous old-school talk which means "Don't say anything". It's right up there with "Pick your feet up", "Pull your socks up", "Hold your horses" and "Sleep tight". These are also phrases which, if taken literally, would be amusing viewing.

2) A cautionary comment to a bloke who may be considering sex with a woman whose disease status is unknown, but looks rife. (Condoms won't help if you're making oral contact with females, kids. They're not magic.) It obviously means "Don't go down on her, you'll get herpes"
1) "My mummy says you're a harlot"
"Hold your tongue, Julia! And pick your feet up!"

2) "Right, I'm leaving now. Guys, this is Kelly"
(gestures to bleach blonde wearing velour tracksuit and giant hoop earrings, chewing gum and smoking at the same time)
"Alright, but Dave? Take this durex and for the love of God, hold your tongue"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010
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fistify your ass

to put a fist in... well your ass.
p1) you wanna gimme a dollar?
p2) you want me to fistify your ass right now?!
by Shea December 11, 2003
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savage your pud

The act of having ones pud savaged. Also known as sexual release/anger after a defeat. Take a hand... find your pud.. and savage away.
Dan told James to go "savage your pud" when he bitched about loosing to Dan's team.
by carnegie1oh8 December 11, 2010
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pissed in your cheerios

"Sorry to have pissed in your Cheerios, but that chick that just gave you a blowjob has an Adam's apple and a hard-on."
by Funk knuckle July 31, 2014
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Beat your cakes

Ghetto south everett (wa) term for To Have Sex, Screw A Chick
Cameron told me he wants to Beat Your Cakes
by *~ashley lasater~* September 7, 2004
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