Conservative logic

The type of mental gymnastics required to justify conservative viewpoints. Notable for being both radical and illogical, conservative logic has the rare quality of being both an oxymoron and unintentionally ironic.
"Conservative logic makes the point that modern policing proves evolution can't be true; otherwise, African Americans would be bulletproof by now."
by Dudge September 23, 2022
mugGet the Conservative logicmug.

Minute Conservative

When someone only has a number of available minutes during the week on their cell phone plan, so they don't answer their phone on peak time unless it's an emergency.
Girl 1: Did you call her yesterday?

Girl 2: Yes, but she didn't didn't answer; she's a minute conservative.
by soadfreak3284 August 23, 2011
mugGet the Minute Conservativemug.

Cockney conservative

People who live in affluent areas of London Strawberry Hill, but down play their wealth and act gangster, or UKIP and Reform voters. They have balding hair and pointy features including noses and chins. They use the words donut and whheeyyyy a lot in speech.
When walking on the streets of Twickenham , a Cockney Conservative will come and befriend you by saying ‘Mate you just gotta sit back, relax and have some fucking chicken mate eeeeeyyyyyy’
by Mr Tumnus 90 May 1, 2025
mugGet the Cockney conservativemug.
A mental condition found in a subset of white conservatives characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, complete disregard of their own hypocrisy, an oddly intense hatred for the state of California, or exaggerated self-importance especially about current political issues.

Examples of someone with White Conservative Paranoia (or WCP) may include but is not limited to:

Conservatives today are the modern day Jew. We will be rounded up and killed. I’ve read Mein Kampf.”(delusions of persecution).

“CALIFORNIA SUCKS AND I LIVE IN THE BETTER STATE OF ALABAMA.”(Unwarranted jealousy and odd hatred for California)

“All the damn liberals are taking my hard earned tax dollars and giving them to the poor and lazy!” (This is being said while receiving unemployment checks and/or other forms of welfare) (disregard of their own hypocrisy)

“There’s no way I’m getting an experimental vaccine so the government can inject me with a GPS tracker and control me!” (Exaggeration of self-importance)

The need to repeatedly express on social media their fear of being persecuted and why they can’t understand how no one else sees their Holocaust is about to occur.

Disclaimer* although WCP is found in a minority of white conservatives, those with this condition are the most vocal.

We wish all those with this condition a speedy recovery.
Jerry is in constant fear of his life because he believes the government is trying to make him infertile through the radiation emitted from cell phone towers developed by the communists in California. He has a severe case of White Conservative Paranoia (or WCP).
by Yetiiscool August 22, 2021
mugGet the White Conservative Paranoiamug.

whipped dog conservative

A conservative who is so afraid of ostracism by liberals that he instinctively pulls punches, ducks fights, and asks his supporters to be content with minimal victories or defeats that could have been worse.
Rush Limbaugh once accused the Republican majorityof acting like 'whipped puppy dogs.' An illustrative case would be the call by certain neoconservatives for a "twenty year national debate" on abortion before moving forward with pro-life legislation. A whipped dog conservative would pretend to find this reasoning persuasive, since it gives him an excuse to duck a fight.
by George Chesterton October 3, 2011
mugGet the whipped dog conservativemug.

Conservative

When your name is Sonny, and you’re a little bitch
Hi I’m Sonny and I’m too big of a Conservative bitch to cross any lines wahhhhhh
by Metis204 April 8, 2020
mugGet the Conservativemug.

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