friends

The only people what speak the same dialect of idiotish as you do, and have the right to bust into your house without asking.

Mom: "Why were you in detention? "
Me: "Oh, me and my friends took this person's sandwich in English class and threw it across the room while screaming yolo."
Mom: "Uh-"

Me: "There was an evil pickle across the room, and we had to save all of our classmates! Jimmy threw the sandwich. He died a soldier's death."

by Captain Lieutenant November 29, 2015

friends

Liars who make you feel better, then degrade you like you're shit

Hey, meet my new awesome friends. Oh wait, then just trashed my car.

by the realist who knows shit December 27, 2015

Friends

The one thing that you'll never have.

"What are 'Friends?' Is that a new DLC?"

by TheRealistOfThisFineWorld June 28, 2016

Friend

Someone who doesn't want to have sex with you.

Me: "Would you have sex with me?"
Friend: "No dude, I'm your friend."

by NikkiNoMad October 10, 2014

friends

Enemies of loneliness

Oh, I heard that Dan had became friends with Phil and had him to fend off his loneliness for him.

by randomgurl April 5, 2017

Friends

HAHAHA, What are friends? Are they like, something you eat?

Person 1: Hey those are like my best friends
Person 2: What are friends?

by Cookie Kid Girl February 11, 2020

Friend

A special thing that I do not have

I'm so lonely because I don't have any friends

by Kuroko-sama April 27, 2017