Sperm Credit Union

A direct competitor to the for-profit Sperm Bank, the Sperm Credit Union is a co-operative sperm banking venture owned collectively by depositors, who are known as members. Through careful management and economy, it can pay a little more or charge a little less as it had no outside stockholders seeking profit at members' expense.

The same pattern held in other sectors where small, local credit unions had taken on large, greedy for-profit banks. Make a deposit in Blood Credit Union and they bleed you a little less aggressively than the corporate hacks at Blood Bank. Withdraw noodles from the local Food Credit Union and be able to repay a few noodles less than would be charged by a greedy, Wall Street Food Bank. And on it goes.

The principle is the same as any other mutual or co-operative society, such as Mutual Orgasm as an insurance provider or the Building Societies as mortgage lenders. By taking matters into their own hands, members collectively obtain a more satisfying outcome.
I was initially sceptical when that trollop Beth tried to seduce me into becoming a member. What, pray tell, is a Sperm Credit Union? This sounded like something out of the idealistic free-love Summer of '69 where the Sexual Revolution, fuelled by the Pill and not yet castrated by full-scale STD panic, led to massive orgies of excess where everyone belongs to everyone else. And these Annual General Meetings? They sounded like something out of a porn flick, Bukkake Gangbang part 666.

Then she sat me down and opened the books, reviewing the prospectus and the annual reports. The business model appeared sound; infertile couples pay to borrow members' DNA — both sperm and eggs — to build their families and secure their future. Members deposit their seed and earn interest. Much like a bank, every one of the hundreds of millions of sperm every day would be individually counted, frozen, accounted for and secured. Every one of them. Everything was strictly regulated and deposits nationally insured up to a limit of a half-million sperm. Compared to the shambolic wreckage of the rest of the US banking system, the Sperm Credit Union was fiscally-prudent and well managed.
by bitchuck September 03, 2024
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That's union road

A man who doesn't have a job smokes panadols and talks about punch ons and sits on milk creates in auburn
Sees a man smoking bupe in auburn " hey that's union road "
by Liazard12hr August 09, 2020
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Hypostatic Union

The union of both a human ousia/substance/nature and the divine ousia/substance/nature in the one divine Person/Hypostasis of Jesus Christ, God the Son.
by JesuitsRule November 17, 2023
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Rear Castle Union

An anagram for "anal intercourse" that just happens to sound like the name of a fancy chess move
^ I like to yell "checkmate" after I'm done giving my gal the ol' Rear Castle Union
> Oh, I bet she loves that, huh? *smirk*
^ No, but I pay her phone bill every month. She loves that. So she indulges me...
by thurb April 29, 2024
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Union Hill High School

A school where all the boys act homosexual but aren’t and where the girls act straight but are homosexual
Boy 1 : are you from Union Hill High School?
Boy 2: yeah it’s gay as fuck bro
Boy 1: yeah I figured since you look gay
by Rex5436 October 21, 2021
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Union Jack Off

An annoying, contemptible, or inconsequential person that also happens to be British.
That bloke had a few too many at the pub and punched a lollipop lady in the tit on his stumble home. He’s a real Union Jack Off.
by Patty Winters March 17, 2024
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