Monkey Time

Expression referring to the desperate attempt to get the bartender's attention. Appropriate to use when the bar is crowded. Originates from North-East Iceland.

"Wow, look at all those people at the bar, I don't fancy joining that monkey time".

by IcelandBoy August 25, 2017

Penis Monkey

A mythical creature in the stories told around 2000 years ago about a legendary monkey that has god-like/omnipotent powers that will walk up to you in your dreams and steal your penis if you're a bad kid. Although it's just a tale that teaches kids to be good, this phenomena has shown up in many photos from the early 1860s to 1970s, only to disappear completely from every photo 69 hours later, after the picture was taken. Although having unlimited power would make you have every power imaginable and every power unimaginable, he only recorded powers are as follows:

-Teleportation
-The ability to make the skin of your penis roll up on itself and shred apart.
-Monky
-
-Ability to show himself in dreams.
-Ability to erase evidence of his existence.
-Immortality/Invincibility

Derek: Dude, what happened, why were you in the hospital?
James: T-the p-p-penis m-monkey got me.
Derek: Who? What are you talking about?
James: MY PENIS I-IT'S GONE!!
Derek: D: oh no
Tyrone: What happened?
Derek: Penis Monkey.

by poopoo monkey machine man May 26, 2020

ditch monkey

The lowest pecking order of social class. Someone who wouldn't hesitate to snort a line of cocaine off a toilet seat while giving a bum a hand job.

"If that worthless ditch monkey didn't smell like urine and heroin farts, I would offer to buy him a meal."

by Kneezel July 16, 2008

hip to the monkey

To be in the know. To know the scoop behind the scenes. To know what's really going on.

She told me they were all filled up, but I was hip to the monkey on their little scam.

by alex brinkman August 5, 2005

Monkey Scratch

When an itch occurs just below the arm pit and you scratch it with the arm on the same side of the body as the itch.

My friend made fun of me when had to monkey scratch a really bad itch.

by Whooty wrangler December 5, 2011

monkey towel

A towel one uses to ejaculate on when masturbating. Usually a distinct towel from other towels so that a person might not mistakenly use the monkey towel to wash ones face or body.

I was so horny last night because I was watching "Supernanny". Good thing I had my monkey towel near by!

by BeEmDe January 25, 2007

grease monkey

mechanic, or mechanically minded person

I got the grease monkey to fix my car

by bobbo June 6, 2003