hand humper

When a man is getting a handjob and he gets greaty for pleasure so he decides to hump the persons hand during the act.

Person 1: Ya so i was giving him a handjob when he started trying to fuck my hand.

Person 2:lmao what a pig... HES A FUCKING HAND HUMPER😂😂

by Mr.Zkor April 22, 2019

Jake hands

When your hands are small af

Dang he got jake hands

by Booiiiiiioi April 25, 2019

Hand Tossed Tuna Salad

Female counterpart to a rusty trombone whereas a female receives a rim job and gets fingered at the same time by the same person.

Somehow I ended up giving her a hand tossed tuna salad when I was trying to get a rusty trombone.

by Giblet Biscuit April 30, 2019

Dream Hands Dance

A viral video of a man named John Jacobson doing choreography for together we sing. The video has had over one million views and hundreds of people have remixed it.

“Hey dude watch this super funny video of this guy acting like an absolute insane person”

“Wow that’s super funny! What’s the link?”

“Oh just look up Dream Hands Dance”

by Bored Bitch May 11, 2019

Holy hand grenade

Robert the Bruce's heart was cut out at his death, he was the true braveheart. His heart was later carried on a crusade to make the crusaders more courageous. It was thrown into a group of opposing soldiers during battle.

His heart was the holy hand grenade.

by Mcnastyjoel May 16, 2019

National Grab A Hand Of Playing Cards Day

On May 17, you gather your friends and family to play card and board games for the afternoon.
What, did you expect something sexual today?
Actually, I'm sure there is.

Cyan: It's May 17, and you know what that means!
Sapphire: Ohhh yeahhhh~
Cyan: It's National Grab A Hand Of Playing Cards Day!
Sapphire: Oh. Yeah. We could do that too.

by Blues and Dumbness May 17, 2019

Scrumptious Hands

The art of duel wielding with an item of fried food in each hand. Similar to the New Zealand tradition of Scrumpy hands (The act of taping a bottle of scrumpy to each hand until finished)

"Bro, that chick over there is playing scrumptious hands"
"She seems like my kind of lady"

by ChizWhiz March 23, 2019