Johns

Past tense: Johned

Plural: Johns
Present tense: Johning

Usually used in video game terms; mostly Super Smash Bros., an excuse. When you are losing, or before you’re losing; pre-johning. E.g., if you think the lighting is too low, or if you spilt coffee on your shirt in the morning; excuses.

“No, I only lost because I didn’t get enough sleep last night. And I also stepped on a Lego!”
“Those are Johns, definitely. You’re just having a skill issue right now”

by MToque May 14, 2025

John

Napoleon complex loves to swallow

Damn john stop pulling a Nate

by 98765421 October 16, 2017

John Wilkes Boothing

(MUST BE DONE AFTER 1 MONTH OF ABSTINENCE.) While performing doggy style sex the male pulls out at ejaculation and cums into the back of the head of the partner.

(Extra points if she’s watching a play.)

After my split up, the first girl I slept with I gave her the John Wilkes Boothing.

by Sexual Auditor July 23, 2018

pancake john

a silly goofy guy

yo is that pancake john??

by pancakejohn December 22, 2023

John Phillip

He is a man that is a man that has a goose named the goose.

John Phillip has the Goose?!?!

by qwertyu876543221 October 27, 2022

John

To call someone who gets really angry at something. It is to make them angrier

John is used to make someone angrier when already angry at something

by Johhhnnnn March 9, 2022

The John Wilkes Booth

While in a movie theater sneak up behind a un suspecting woman or man (if male, must have a beard) and blow your load in the back of their head and try to escape before getting caught. while yelling “THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN”

Ronald enjoys long walks on the beach and Spending alone time at the local movie theater sometime even giving someone special The John Wilkes Booth.

by Snooki’s bath water February 25, 2022