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John Diego

someone who should be kicked from the group chat at all costs.
Oh my god! John diego is so annoying!!!
by Jayman dogo September 18, 2020
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john holetrane

The act of inserting a saxophone mouthpiece into someone's anus and blowing like you're soloing over a Coltrane piece. The goal is to make the recipient squeal like Coltrane's soprano sax in "My Favorite Things."
Some guy on the street tried to sell me a John Holetrane but all he had was .75" pvc pipe. I said "You're thinking of a different act." I walked away, disappointed that I still didn't know when or where I'd get my next authentic John Holetrane.
by Tex Tile September 23, 2016
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John

Johns a blonde, green eyed hottie
he gets all the girls especially one he’ll tell u her name if u ask him. <3
what Johns name means etc
by -u know who ;) March 22, 2021
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John

John is a larger than life stoner, who thinks that anything can be solved with some ganja, anything from funerals, to childrens birthday parties you will always find john lurking around somewhere smoking a joint. He is also a surprisingly good cook, but make sure to ask what he puts in the brownies he makes you because you might just be looking at a really interesting night.
guy 1: it's so sad aunt mary passed away.
guy 2: i know what can lighten our moods, im pretty sure john's smoking a joint in the parking lot.
guy 1: oh word i heard he has that ganja
by thickzwick January 23, 2020
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John Boston

The ghost of Boston’s forgotten founder, executed in 1631 for “witchcraft” after peacefully communicating with local Native tribes. Hanged in what’s now the Boston Common children’s park, John Boston returns every July 6th, the day he died.

Each year, he rises at midnight, hunting for the smelliest children under 15 to “rebuild the city he was denied.” Legend says the stinkier the kid, the more likely they are to vanish.

The city closes the park every July 6th to contain him — but when the gates are locked, he takes to the streets.
Friend 1: “Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow?”
Friend 2: “Hell no, it’s John Boston’s day, and I haven’t showered. I ain’t tryna vanish into the trees, bro.”
by Wsgg July 5, 2025
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John Headache

The inventor of the headache. Created when John Headache tried to think too hard in 1882. We hate this guy and his cursed invention.

Remember people, we were supposed to live a world free from thought. Thinking only makes brain sad and hurty.
"my head hurts wtf"
"You are likely experiencing a headache. These grievances were created by one John Headache. You have him and only him to blame. Stop thinking immediately to reduce harm."
by TheRatEmpire November 8, 2023
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John Todd

A guy who compensates with the cars he drives, and fake ice. On his off-time he likes to downhill-ski with the boys in the backseat of a shitbox Tacoma while listening to Rack City through a gen. 1 iPod.
Awh shit, John Todd brought the gay parade again
by Not so gay November 15, 2019
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