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John Wade

The most handsome man with the most beautiful smile. He will sing songs such as "Hungry Arms". He is a sensitive soul, but his outwardly manly exterior keeps his walls high. He is a kind man, with the most beautiful green eyes (not blue). If you ever meet a John Wade on a corner make sure to shut your eyes if you don't want to fall for him. His singing is pretty terrible, makes a banging vegan cheese sauce and he always pops the toilet seat down like a true gent. He is funny, but not as funny as a small Jo. He is a man of many talents. He gets distracted by shiny things occasionally and takes an age to pick a film. He is very very hard working. If you find a John you should know how lucky you are.
Person 1: Look at that handsome man over there!

Person 2. He must be a John Wade.
by Guitarjo April 30, 2022
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John Bromley

The manliest man to ever life.
John Bromley: So help me Bob i'm bully in the alley
by CommanderKevin October 20, 2021
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John

A South African slang for penis
Yo man, my John is feeling extra hard today
by Qwertykg March 24, 2019
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john wayne delcamp

A nice and loving guy. The best man a woman could ever find. The guy who means the world to you.
by Jld72014 February 4, 2017
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John Headache

The inventor of the headache. Created when John Headache tried to think too hard in 1882. We hate this guy and his cursed invention.

Remember people, we were supposed to live a world free from thought. Thinking only makes brain sad and hurty.
"my head hurts wtf"
"You are likely experiencing a headache. These grievances were created by one John Headache. You have him and only him to blame. Stop thinking immediately to reduce harm."
by TheRatEmpire November 8, 2023
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wobbly john

A noun used to describe the act of sniffing cocaine and ketamine at the same time.
Sonny: "I've just done a fat blast of coke and ket"
Lewis: "Cor you done a Wobbly John, mush"
by Wan King Byng August 8, 2024
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John Boston

The ghost of Boston’s forgotten founder, executed in 1631 for “witchcraft” after peacefully communicating with local Native tribes. Hanged in what’s now the Boston Common children’s park, John Boston returns every July 6th, the day he died.

Each year, he rises at midnight, hunting for the smelliest children under 15 to “rebuild the city he was denied.” Legend says the stinkier the kid, the more likely they are to vanish.

The city closes the park every July 6th to contain him — but when the gates are locked, he takes to the streets.
Friend 1: “Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow?”
Friend 2: “Hell no, it’s John Boston’s day, and I haven’t showered. I ain’t tryna vanish into the trees, bro.”
by Wsgg July 5, 2025
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