Furniture Orgasm

A furniture orgasm is when a sales person gets an orgasm from new furniture and/or new fabrics that they receive from furniture manufactures.

Susan and Brendon both had furniture orgasms when they saw the new furniture and fabric that was going to be put on the showroom floor.

by TheFurnitureGal May 21, 2011

furniture salesperson

A poor bastard who sales furniture, lamps, recliners and bedding. One who lies to people about their taste in home furnishings. A person who listens to constant whinning about prices, listens to rambling about a house decore they don't give a shit about. When this simpleton finally closes the sale the buyer immediately begins to complain about the product.
A furniture salesperson might have to view buggars on the bottom of a recliner brought in for repair, might be exposed to the piss on mattress sent back to the store.
The furniture salesperson is always nice at work and a real ass hole at home. They have held as long as they can!

customer= JUST LOOKING!
furniture Salesperson- can I help you find something
customer- do you have a floral camel back sofa up on legs, maybe one you repoed. My credit ain't so good. Do you guys have 12 month same as cash?
furniture Salesperson- No we only sale new furniture, have you tried the flea market or a yard sale?

by mannman November 10, 2009

Furniture Fag

Any guy that gets way too excited about his skank-ass girlfriend.

"Jay is way too excited about his new girlfriend! Every time he talks about her, he jumps up and down on my couch like that furniture fag Tom Cruise."

by Elcopro December 21, 2009

Furniture Vampire

Sucks up all your time asking pointless question and also never purchases furniture.

Susan helpped out one of the worse Furniture Vampires because she spend 4 hours with them and they decided they wouldn't buy the sofa they liked.

by TheFurnitureGal March 27, 2011

Furniture Float

The calling for getting ones dick hard in the sense of the cowgirl sex position.

"Last night I was talking to Jess and the way she talked made my furniture float"

by 84matt460 April 5, 2021

Furniture Man Land

Using your man as a body pillow; headrest, etc.

Laying in bed turned into Furniture Man Land.

by MakeShift Cat August 24, 2025

Furniture flex

The act of buying and displaying expensive, designer, luxury, furniture primarily to show off wealth, status, or success rather than for practical use.

Example:
He bought a new massive bespoke luxury cinema sofa and invited everyone round for a film night just to show it off — a prime example of a furniture flex.

Lee: bruv… I went round my Mrs brother’s house other day. He's bought a twenty-grand luxury sofa. It’s well nice.

Frank:That’s a proper furniture flex, bruv. Bet you felt like a right peasant LOL.

Lee: Innit, bruv… LOL.
.
Frank: LOL.

by Jamiecheese March 3, 2026